21st November 2008
i was actually pretty gay today...i mean, come on...it's the ipoh weekend again! i'll get to taste the sweetness of home after a long 2 weeks wait.
but then my sister have to ruin it for me. I mean, sometimes, the person i cant stand most in my life is my sister. it's like ...we have to end up arguing abt things practically every single day...
My sister and i are complete opposites of each other. Basically, we have nothing, and i can tell you, NOTHING in common except the same set of parents and genes.
We usually never agree on anything. That's the problem.
I am the kiddy type, who loves to take things as they come. i usually follow my heart and my motto is happy-go-lucky. i'm not afraid of taking myself lightly or embarrassing myself sometimes - like jumping around and making a fool of myself just to make ppl laugh.
My sis on the other hand usually takes things seriously. She is always rational and she lives with the word "rational" embedded on her forehead. THings have to make sense before she does it and she feels that decisions must and MUST be made using brains. I mean, i'm not saying that it's wrong to think things over. i do agree that some things have to be mulled over before decisions are made, but for her, it's just a mandatory step in every situation. She hates being embarrassed and if you embarrass her, you're so gonna get from her.
If you just wanna share a gossip or opinion with her...my advice is ...FORGET IT if she's in a crappy mood. and mind you....she live 90% of her life in a crappy mood.
I love to talk...communicating is essential in my life. My sis hates my talking. she always thinks that the things i say are crap. Whatever i say, she'll disregard because she thinks that i'm always wrong.
i think she feels that she's better than me. and the truth is, she is, in so many ways. but i just feel that i shouldn't be treated disrespectfully.
Sometimes...when i talk to her, and if she's in a bad mood, she just won't answer me. Do you know how that feels like? It's like talking to four walls when actually there's another human breathing in your room...
i remember her first day in college. She came back and i was happily asking her about her first day....She didn't answer me. And i was so stupid... i pressed on. She then just scolded me for bugging her and told me that she had a rough first day becuz she can't find any friends.
I was pissed...i mean...GOD! It's only your first day and i remembered my first day. I had no friends either and i had to deal with everything alone. And does that give me the rights to just throw a tantrum at others...especially those who are caring for you?
Sometimes i really do not understand. She gets along fine with my brother...she just doesnt get along with me. Is it my problem?
I treasure my best friend YY alot. It's because that deep inside, i feel that sometimes, YY is like a sister to me. One who understands me even more than my own sister. And she also knows how my sister's attitude is towards me and YY was the one who was always there to console me.
My mum always say that sisters should stick together and not argue...but mum doesnt know...she always ask me last time, why don't i spend more time in the room with my sister. She asked me why do i always spend time in YY's room.
if your sister always think that what you say is nonsense and gives no feedback, would you rather be in a place where at least there are people who would talk to you?
since young, i was like the baby in the family...even though i'm the eldest. this is mainly because of my personality. I am always the 'manja' one and usually i get wat i want because of my ways of getting on the soft side of mum. therefore, my sis is definitely more independent and she is in a lot of ways better than me.
but then i just feel that even though i might be kiddy at times, it doesnt make what i have to say stupid.
today we were arguing abt blogs. Apparently bloggin abt movies is stupid. Well to her! Gosh...i mean, you might wonder why i am so angry just because ppl criticises my blog...i should disregard them right. Correct...! but this is not the first time my sis kept criticizing wat i do. plus it's the way she says it...
she has her own interests and i have mine. I love to blog about movies and music. I love to write. SHe doesnt. So be it. I'm just mad that she just disses my stuff. i know my blog is not great and to tell the truth....my blog is like my personal space...what i have to say and i dont expect people to love reading it. it's just my expression of ideas. it's how i want it to be. it can contain as many words as i want it to have. SO JUST DONT SAY THAT IT'S LAME OR WHATEVER THE EXACT WORD IT IS THAT YOU USE TO DESCRIBE IT. (she always say i manipulate her words. she is particular abt blueprinting the exact words used in a conversation. she is darn particular abt using the exact word for the exact meaning. if you have ur own interpretation of a word that she doesnt accept, then you're wrong. For example, If your interpretation of dirty is 'illegal' in certain context, she might not except it. Maybe she doesnt know the meaning of metaphors. but dont argue with her. pointless - i always lose)
She always compares my blog to another girl's blog, which she loves to read... Well fine! I mean no one is stopping u from reading that wonderful blog but just dont compare us. She told me that the girl say that giving movie reviews are a waste of time... i'm not her and like i said....it is my blog. it's my life, my stories. and i'm different from that girl. Plus, it's not like i force you to read my blog.
I mean you can joke once in a while but today i just feel that it has gone too far and i just can't stand it anymore. Everything i do is wrong. Nothing i do is worthy in her eyes.
Her rudeness is also unbearable. can you believe that even my friend notice that attitude? i mean she is not only embarrassing me in front of my friends...but i think, she's embarrassing herself even more, though she dont realize it.
She is a person who thinks that she's always right...and she never listens becasue she always think she's right. Even my parents say so. if there's one thing that i can say that i'm better, it's that i smile more and i think i hv slightly better attitude. But yea...everything else, i lose.
she's prettier, smarter, more matured, better in sports, more ORGANIZED and CAREFUL and everything....
but then i also hv to admit my weaknesses. i'm not an angel (though she always say i think i am)i'm egoistic as well...and sometimes very selfish when i am dealing with her. becuz when she treats me that way, i tend to not give her the things she wants because i feel that watever i do for her, she wont appreciate. that's y i hog the net when i'm home, and even though sometimes i know she is right, i'll just continue to stand up for my points.
I am probably most unfair to my bro...well i hog the net. but to be fair...he has the net for like 11 days a week and i only get my chance during weekends...so? haha...my sis...well let her rot! hmmpf...
whatever it is ...i just wanna make it clear...
no one has to read my blog if you find it annoying. if you think it's too long, too wordy then don't read it. i know it's wordy..that's y i hv a warning "CAUTION" in the first post. i know i'm a grandmother when it comes to writing...i write crap yes! but that's how i want my blog to be...tat's how i like it. besides, there's always 'treasures' among the crap. ;P (*winks*) it's just how you see it.
and yea, you don't have to like the reviews either. everyone has their own opinions...their own ideas....their thoughts. I know that my sister doesnt like my blog, i accept it. but it's just that today, her repetitious comment was the last straw of other accumulative events.
So people have a nice day while i try to cool down...
but like i say, today is a great day for me despite the drama...i'm so happy to be home!
tomoro will be a challenge...time to start chapter 2 of the thesis....sigh....wtf..
-tammy-
