♥ BABYT'S WORLD OF CRAP ♥

Friday, September 26, 2008

I was bathing when suddenly i thought of this question: "Am I unkind?"
Well i am not a person who actually does a lot of charity and sometimes, i just really dislike people who ask for money...like the beggars. I mean, i just feel that some of them are just not deserving of my help. But i always wonder whether not giving them money is the right thing to do? Am i bad if i don't help them financially? My best friend has a really kind heart and she is always giving money to people who comes to our table and ask for money. Usually, they are either very old or they have incapabilities. To me, i still think that there should be a system to help this people instead of having them just begging for money. to me it's just not right because i cant tell who really need help and who are faking it. Maybe 'beggar' is just another occupation for these people. I see that some money containers contain RM50 and i'm there thinkin, these people could be richer than myself. Sometimes it's not like i dont want to help, but then i just cant stop myself thinking tat i too need cash for myself. I'm also very tight in my wallet, see...
then another part of me thinks, come on! Why are you always thinkin abt urself. Giving is also as important in life. Maybe if i don't spend so much on foodstuff (yea i love to eat ok), you'll be able to give someone their lunch. So i'm like torn everytime someone comes up to me with a cup, not a cup of drink, but a cup with the hopes that i would be kind enough to spare some extra coins or cash. Of course my dad is used to shove some of these people off, especially those who you know for sure that doesnt deserve a penny. But my dilemma comes is when i see an old folk walk up to me. To me is like, this people can walk faster than me, but then again they are old. So should i help them?

I've been listening to this song by Carrie Underwood entitled "So Small". The song asks us to give love and i am really inspired by it. I mean, all my life i've been asking for everything and i just feel that i'm not giving enough at all. I want everything and i find excuses why i need those stuff. I guess it's time for me to change my thinking. It is really hard. I've been trying my best. I mean, i am used to hogging the Internet and my siblings dont get a chance to go online. So even now if i want to like let them use the Internet, i just can't, cuz i want to use the Internet. Sometimes i guess i always put myself on top of others, and i feel that i'm sickening even to myself. Time to help me change. Tell me how i can be less self-centered...hmmm.....

Time to think...but i am still not making the Internet available for my siblings yet ;)

Tammy the not-so-awesomist one

With Lots of Love & Hugs & Kisses & Chris Richardson's scent from BabyT ;