♥ BABYT'S WORLD OF CRAP ♥

Saturday, March 08, 2008

9th January 2008
Instead of thinking that life sucks, i really tried to think positive at times. I mean, though yesterday was a quite a terrible day for me, i tried to focus on the beautiful stars that decorated the skies instead, i truly believe that things would get better for me, but it just dawn on me now that, maybe it would be worst.
The past few weeks had been the worst weeks of my life. I’ve never felt so down and alone in my entire life. Yes, i do have some close friends next to me, but still insecurity problems is haunting me and effecting me emotionally. I find that a lot of people don’t understand me, except my best friends. And sadly, not even my family really knows what’s behind this short, small-eyed, long haired girl. I have to deal with so much pressure and sometimes, my mum isn’t so supportive.
I mean, she’s a great mum most of the time, but she has never been supportive of me being a broadcast student. Personally, i feel that you excel in something you love and i really love what i am studying and doing now. Mum on the other hand just seem to think that there’s no future in broadcast. It’s like, she keep telling me, when we are on the topic of my studies tat advertising is the better option or marketing is better etc. Seriously, i like advertising and marketing too, and they are all part of broadcasting. In my course, we have to produce product advertisements, we do Public Service Announcements, we have to market our clients products...it’s all inter-related. Explaining to her is also a complete waste of time. Like today, she even say that i don’t fit in the course because i am not sociable enough. I can imagine that. I mean, first of all, you guys sort of controls my every movement and ban me from ‘socializing’. It’s like sometimes, i can’t even hang out at mamak stalls at nite around 8 or 9. I know it’s dangerous, but i have already consider the factors and make safety precautions. It’s not that i don’t appreciate her caring for my safety, but i do know how to judge for myself. I am too afraid of my own safety. That’s y i do too say no to late midnite mamak stall hanging out. (Though i did it once or twice.) I think parents just are overprotective sometimes. Maybe someday i’ll be like tat too, but now i really can’t stand it.
Besides, i wouldn’t say that i’m not a sociable person. I’m one of the most talkative girls in class (if that is considered sociable), ranked 3rd or 4th after my bestest buddies, and black-listed in my class rep’s “List-of-the-Most-talkative-people-in-class-tat-you-have-to-watch-out-for-when-annoucements-are-being-made”. It’s funny because everytime my class rep is making an announcement, i happened to be talking, but then that’s a completely different story. But then, i still think i don’t fit into the list because my best friend is the noisy one who dragged me into that stupid list. But we should be proud of our achievements la. And now, i think i’m also recognized as the most aggressive girl (or B****) in class who would argue (or in my own opinion, stand by) all the way to get my own point across. For me, i gradually changed into someone who wouldn’t give up my point until i have given my all in defending myself. Yes, i know that’s not good and people thinks that i just want to win all the time. IT IS NOT TRUE! I stand by my own point of views but that doesnt mean i’m not acceptant of other’s ideas. I just agree with Condolezza Rice that “There’s nothing wrong in holding an opinion, and holding it passionately”. I would go all the way to defend what i feel and thing because i don’t wanna regret not saying my views. Even with my lecturers, i am that way. I believe that some lecturers like that, but i sure hope that so far i have not get on their nerves yet. I mean, it’s not like i snap at people, i debate as diplomatically as possible. Haha. Though i debate my ideas, it doesnt mean that i’m against taht person rite? Some people don’t see that. My best friends know that and we work well together. Though sometimes when i go over the line, they will tell me. But other classmates, though we are friends, have that negative impression of me when it comes to this. I feel so misunderstood by others. I really don’t know whether or not i should change and become that timid little girl i used to be in high school.
In class, people only the smiling and happy mun yi, who’s naive and childish. Mun yi, who only studies. Mun Yi, who only does assignments. Mun yi – the goody-two-shoes. And mun yi, who talks a lot at times. (or mun yi the girl-who-wants to win!) If only people could see that mun yi is only an ordinary girl, who is sometimes lost and insecure. I don’t feel good about myself too. Like sometimes, you don’t feel accepted, you don’t feel pretty (though i always tell people that i am ;P)...the actual truth is, i do have my down times. I feel sad too but no one knows. But i still thank God that i still have a few best friends supporting me.

And it pressures me that when i have fun, my parents will be like monitoring my results. I mean, i know tat my results are important, but suddenly, when i think back, all my life has been about studies. My friends’ lives are full of colors and stuff and when people wanna ask abt me...everything would be abt studies. How did you get the results u get? How do u study? My other friends have so much more interesting and funnny stories like how they cheated in primary, how they sneak out, how they embarrassed themselves in front of their teachers...i’m not saying that cheating and skipping school is great, but to have these stories and experience behind you really makes your life more interesting, n not dull like mine. I just suddenly feel that, if today is my last day on Earth, i really don’t wanna spend it studying. I wanna spend it happily with my friends and family. If i study whenever i get a chance, then it would be like, my last day would be definitely spent with notes or thick text books. Of course during exam season, you cannot say that because i don’t wanna spend my last day regretting not getting good results either.
There’s the pressure to maintain my results this semester. I’ve played too much, chat too much and hang out too much and my parents noticed that too. Then there is also pressure to get a good company for industrial training, since my sis (who always look down on me) n mum n maybe dad(i don’t know) are looking down on me. My sis always thinks she is that great and superb. She said that i’m too selective of company. She knows nothing but talks so much when she don’t need to. When it’s necessary to use to talking ability, she never use it. I told my lecturer that i am not interested to join an animation company though i wanna produce children programs because i am not interested in animation for now (which is the truth) Besides, i know nuts abt graphic softwares and 3D animation.,.and personally i wanna experience what it’s like being in a production house first be4 venturing into something else. Is that being choosy? Well if you say so, then yes. I still stand by what i feel, for now. Oh n she say that i should reflect on the Bernama interview. Hello? Of course i did! I admit that i screw up the part when i dont know my fave newspaper, but then i did not regret telling the truth that i prefer to cover stories on celebrities and music because that is my passion. If she is so smart and good at reflecting past mistakes, maybe she should reflect on the time she knocked into a Saga tat day in Jusco when reversing, instead of blaming people for parking behind her. Cuz as far as i’m concerned, i managed to back the car after she bang into ppl’s car twice. I just did not want to embarrass her in front of my other cousins, but i do feel that she is partly responsible for the accident. Of course dun ask abt the saga, haha. It’s wrecked and we all fled. Sorry
Sometimes, staying with her is like staying with nobody. You ask her “How’s school today?” and you get air....NO REPLY! It’s like, i know it’s her right to keep quiet but i find that darn rude too. Now you know why i hv to hang out with my friends? I will die of boredom if i face her 24 hours.
I’ve never thought that i would actually face so many problems. Though at the end of the day, i try to treat them as challenges, i really don’t know how much longer i can go through this S***! Seriously, i am about to burst out someday...i dunno how. But i know, i won’t kill myself, that’s for sure. Besides, i hope things will turn out well now, since i’ve got an interview on Monday for a production house and Jason Lo’s company has received my resume. Anywayz...that’s all for now. I stil have to go hit the books.
Wish me luck for my exams & interview!!
~Love Tammy ...the not so great~

OK so having a sis who thinks she’s the greatest and nicest being on Earth is a pain in the a**. Yea, so what if she;s the more matured one, though she is younger than me, it just pains me to talk to her at times. PEOPLE, if you need to vent out ur problems or u just need someone to console you and make you feel alot better, plz do not go to my sis. Because at the end of the talk, you’ll feel worst that before. Seriously, i’ve tried it so so many times. I mean, sometimes, i just need someone to hear out my problems, she will then give you criticism that pulls ur spirits down even more than better. I guess, she can never ever be a good consultant. I mean, yea, she is definitely more rational but st
“The Band of Brotherhood” is definitely not the kinda show that i thought i would watch. Come on, it’s all about war and fighting and soldiers. Of course one thing abt these war movies is that you get to watch darn hot and hunky soldiers, a really great feast for the eyes haha. I mean, no offence, but not many Malaysian guys look hunky and muscular right. Anywayz, my friend introduced me to this show and burnt on DVD the whole season in a high quality HDTV format for me. Well, since the quality of the show is so superb, it’s kinda fun to watch the show. I hate to watch action movies or shows in low quality pictures, especially those ‘artistic’, cinema-recorded films a.k.a pirated VCDs, specially accompanied by echoes and laughter of the crowd. Well, i mean, it’s not like i “ahem” buy all original, but they are also quality pirated VCDs if you know wat i mean. (Anywayz, i hope i dun get into trouble...cuz yea i do buy pirated...but SOME! i do buy original too okay!)
Anywayz back to the topic. Now my bro n sis actually watch this program on 9TV before, i of course wasn’t aware since i m a more internet fan and i spent more time in front of the computer than the TV these days. But the thing is, like i say, i wouldn’t say it is my kinda program but after watching 3 episodes, i kinda like it...though not love, but like it. I mean, i really now understand what war is like, though i dun get to physically experience it, but seriously, if you watch that show, it really gives you an idea of what it’s like. But i think, if you really experience it yourself, it would be much worst. Imagine your friend just dying in front of you, just like that. One minute you are talking to him and the next, a bullet just fly past his head. BAM! He’s gone. Or BAM, he’s in pieces. Of course you are just grateful that the missle or bullet missed you, cuz you;re just next to him, but then imagine the pain of losing a partner, a friend.
There is one episode about a solder called Albert Blithe. He was scared of dying. He doesnt dare to actually shoot anyone or go out to fight. I guess, i understand how that feels. i mean i am timid myself. And come on, these soldiers are human too. You think they have no fear? Everyone has fear and Blithe too. When I see these soldiers, i just feel lucky that first, i dun live at that time and second, haha that i am not a man. I mean, they are afraid but they cannot afford to show it because they think they have the responsibility to protect their country. At the beginning of every episode, there are short interviews with real soldiers who shared their experience at war. One of them said that everyone is afraid but most importantly for a soldier is how to think wisely and act smart despite of fear. And when i think about it, that’s exactly what i fail to do most of the time haha. If i’m at war, i’m afraid that i’ll be the first to die.
I also think that...being a medic (doctor) at war is worst. Cuz if i were the enemy, i’ll first kil the medics. if i kill them first...they cant save the soldiers who are injured, making the enemy lose a strong quantity of fighting force. Plus, they are are easy to kill since they are equipped with medicine, instead of arms. HAHA! See, i’m good in war techniques am i... but of course, i’m not tat cold-blooded. In the show..there’s one episode about a medic called Eugene, (whom i think is really handsome by the way haha) and his struggle to help save ppl. Of course, as a medic, the saddest thing is that you failed to save someone. Well, i guess that is wat good doctors have to deal with, the guilt of not being able to save a life.
Now i’m in the 5th episode n I shall continue to watch it after CNY. I mean, now tat i’m at home, i’m distracted with the internet and of course, i hv definitely more choices of programs on TV haha. Hmm....these few days, i’m so addicted to What I Like About You. You can actually watch that on Youtube! It’s so cool! Season 4 introduced Dan Cortese, as Vic!! OMG!!!! LOVE LOVE THAT GUY! I watch Dan Cortese in a comedy called “Rock Me Baby” but that show was cancelled. Now, he appears in one of my fave comedy...haha! Happy, happy!! I mean i love the character Val, and now her husband is Vic! How cool is tat?! That’s why they are my fave couple in the show...I keep watching it this few days,...and i’m completely in love with it...and the show is so funny. Catch it on Youtube guys!
The latest movie i’ve watched is “Sweeney Todd - ...” whatever. Well i wouldn’t say it’s a crappy movie, and i wouldnt say i’m completely in love with it either. I mean, hate tat there were too many songs in it. The songs are, quite boring in a way. But the story is quite interesting, and unpredictable, that’s why i like. Just the ending. Hate the bloody and violent scenes. Haha..i’m just not that kinda person who enjoys blood & ghore...eww....but who doesnt love Johnny Depp rite? Hahha...my cousin Doreen however, named it the best movie of 2008. HAHA!! It’s just february haha....despite her “weird” tastes i really like my cousin Doreen. I mean i love all my cousins also of course..but this cousin is really unique haha...there’s something mysterious n interesting abt her...she has really unique and artistic tastes which really intriques me...she is very very artistic and i really admire her for that. And talking to her, you just get a lot from her. She’s a great artist by the way and she has helped me with a project and has impressed all my classmates, including my lecturer. Makes me so proud haha. And at 24, she is really very successful to me. Come on, she has her own website, and finds her own clients. It’s like self-employment. How cool is that....and her sis, Shereen, is also brilliant...she is the complete opposite of Doreen though haha...Shereen is the talkative n funny one. Very fun to be with.
So at the end of the day...it’s great to have such cool family members haha...

15th February 2008
Ok..i feel guilty. Most of time, in my blogs, i complain a lot about life, or rather of my parents. I guess i don’t give them enough credit for what they’ve done for me. SO this time i shall take some time to write some good stuff about them. Of course, there i receive some occasional nagging and scoldings, but thinking about it, most of the time is because my own clumsiness and messiness. Of course there are still occasions in which i still believe that i am right. But let’s leave all that behind and talk about the good stuff my parents offer.
Since my industrial training deal is confirmed, it was time to arrange my transportation. My parents went all out to help me settle this transportation problem. Dad had to spend extra on a second hand car while mum has to drive the second hand Kancil, with no power stering. It’s really a pain to drive that small little car. And both of them went through various processes to get me that car. They have a lot to do but still find time to help me settle my stuff. They definitely made a lot of sacrifices and i really thank them and appreciate all that they’ve done for me.
This is of course not the only thing that mum & dad has done for me. When i was in Kelantan during National Service, dad & mum drove an 8-hour journey just to see me. Then, while growing up, dad was really there to help with our studies while mum takes care of our ‘pleasure and leisure sector. I mean, she was the lenient one who would buy us toys and the stuff we like. She is definitely very lenient with me, and that’s why i grow up to be such a pampered mummy’s girl – which is good i believe haha. I mean, i’m not a spoilt-brat, it’s just tat there are times when i would go to mummy to get the things i want haha...
I guess, there are definitely days where i totally disagree with them and where i definitely can’t stand them, but at the end of everyday, i’m still really and very glad that they are both my parents. And they love me alot and they take care of me. I’m grateful and blessed cuz i know ppl who aren’t as lucky as me.

28th February 2008
Finally i’m back and have some time off to actually sit back and do some of the things i love, which of course, includes blogging. LOADS, and believe me, LOADS have happened to me over the past 2 weeks. I got my internship with a company called Tayangan Unggul and of course i’m really ecstatic and happy to get an internship, and i was definitely excited and looking forward to the first day at work, which was 18th February 2008. Little did i know that it was the beginning of a rollercoster ride, and a very stressful one indeed.
First day of work or rather, training, was of course the most exciting one and you definitely won’t be able to sleep the night before. I slept only two hours before waking up and reporting duty at Astro. I was so afraid of the jam that I left at 6am when in fact my sign-in time is actually 9am. Well I dun wanna be late for the first day, duh! I reach Astro at 7am, 2 hours early.Now I regret going so early cuz it was all waiting and waiting and more waiting. I was so excited that I cant even sleep in my car. But everything went well in Astro and then I went on to report to Tayangan Unggul. Then, my good luck comes to a tragic end. From that moment on…til today, I’ve been struck with “S***-ty” luck. After leaving Astro and reaching the office, I had nothing much to do in the office, except for reading the script and typing a list of extras. I was anticipating the trip to the set, which my supervisor promised. I kept waiting til 3pm cuz I heard her say that we will be going to the set at 3. Darn! I was surprised that at 6pm only did we head down to the set and just so you guys know, 6pm is actually time to go HOME! It was the first blow that I have to accept, people really work late in this industry. Fine…I mean, I kind of expected it though. But I mean, since it was my first day, it was kind of hard for me to adapt so quickly. Thankfully, the excitement of seeing how a real set look like got me through the night. That night, I went home around 11.30pm and that is actually early. I heard the crew went home 2am. Of course, I don’t have much to do there as well except taking care of a stupid box, which contains all the receipts and claims a.k.a. all the financial records of the production.
You see, I actually enjoy doing all these things, I mean like taking part in all these production activities. I love to see the directing of the movie,I love to write and I love dealing with people. It’s just the odd working hours and the fact that I don’t know KL roads and I am terrible at map reading that really turns me off. I have to stress myself over the problem of how to get to the set everyday, since the production takes place at various locations every day. And also, most of the time on the set is wasted time. You see your precious hours just fly away everyday just like that. Most of the time, you sit there waiting for the crew to set up cameras and lighting etc. The actual shooting takes around maybe half and hour, but then the set up of the cameras etc takes around 2 to 3 hours. And when you wanna change a different scene, the whole waiting process takes place again. I mean, can you think of the many things one can do in between those hours? I mean for me, I would definitely choose to either sleep (which is not possible in this case cuz as an intern, I feel the pressure of staying awake) or if I’m doing a college production, I’d discuss other assignments with friends. I mean, of course there will be time I’ll relax and shake legs too, but this everyday waiting thing is completely unacceptable. I don’t know about other companies but this company’s personnel, I feel needs to be a little more productive.
I have to deal with not having anything to do. I mean, I try asking for work to do but then there’s nothing. And then, you get comments from some people that you are not serious in your work. F*** them! I DID ASK FOR THINGS TO DO AND IF THERE IS NOTHING TO DO THEN HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE SERIOUS!!! And I give 101% in all the assignments I’ve given, I try my best though the results sometimes might not be as good as I wish it would be. When it comes to work and assignments, I always go all the way. I don’t wanna live with regrets that I did not do my best. I mean I like the industry but really, I do not plan to work with this company again. The people is not as driven as the friends I work with in college. In college, we have datelines which we strive and work to accomplish it. Though it is very stressful and tiring, but at the end of it, you get the satisfaction of completing a fulfilling project. Here, you experience stess, you do, but the stress of having nothing to do and the stress of people seeing you idling around with nothing to do. Almost all the nights I work late (til morning), I lost my way while finding the way home. I had to really traavel the long way before I reach home. And being the easily-freaked-out-chick, I really panicked most of the time. Yesterday, I thought that I’ve finally improved and I was so proud that I managed to keep a calm head. Then something f***ing happened. Sigh. I screwed up for the 2nd time in 2 weeks…I lost the apartment keys and electronic pass (some sort of security card)… First, a few days ago, I bumped into my dad’s car while driving in a convoy. I dented my Kenari while my dad’s Ford, survive with just a tiny scratch, which is not even visible unless you have super bionic eyesight, while the Kenari – let’s just saw, even the blind can see it. YUP! I screwed up again…now the Kenari has no aircon and you cant lock the car door.
I really hate to blame it on my bad luck though, maybe I really have myself to blame too. I mean, I’ve always been a clumsy, absent-minded girl, and going through this internship process really make me taste the consequences of my weaknesses.
Now after a series of events, I really don’t expect my parents to trust me, which they really don’t . even I cant trust myself. I just feel like….i don’t know…getting out of here. Now seeing my parents is also stressful….i just wanna get away from them.
With dad, it’s the issue of me not careful enough and my clumsiness and not organized enough. With mum, it’s the problem of my job. She hates that I’m in the industry. She hates the fact that I have to live according to a weird schedule, and that it’s not a 9 to 5 job. She doesn’t understands how much I love this job though it has gotten me into so much trouble. She always say that I’m not a sociable person who c ant fit into this industry. I don’t agree with her and even if I’m not a sociable person (which I know it’s not true) I still love the things I’m doing now, maybe not the company(but I do like it, though not love it YET), but definitely I know this is a fun job…being in the office is boring and I really hate the fact that it’s dull and unchallenging. She worries that I might not ..u know….get married someday cuz working in this industry means no social life. Well, I guess it’s not exactly the time for me to worry about this now. I believe that, it will happen when you least expect it. I still believe that someday, I shall date Chris Richardson..NO DOUBT! When I go to America (in my dreams)…as long as I keep believing… I’m gonna have my own recording company and production house. And I’m gonna sign Chris Richardson hehehe…..and the rest is history!! OKAY!! I’m awake….you dun need to nudge me. But of course, there is definitely someone, hopefully who can be my best friend and my life companion and share my passion for the industry and would challenge me to be a better person. So, as far as I’m concerned, I’m sticking to this industry because despite ALL THE CHALLENGES, can you believe it, I’m still SO SO INTO IT! I still love it and I really cant wait to start my own production and get into this industry. I mean, if I learn to read maps and you know, really get more experience in this industry, I might love it even more. For now, I;m definitely pursuing this. Later I shall do other stuff I wanna do, like PR and marketing, writing brilliant and inspirational books and fight for human rights (if I can someday, I will!!)
But seriously, no matter how bored I was when I was on the set waiting, I’ve learnt so so muc h just by watching the crew. I just feel guilty I did nothing but seriously, it has been a wonderful learning experience for me. Though I suffer emotionally, also, with some objections from mum and all, I am just glad that, I still have my friends to run to. I mean, though I do hv disagreements with my family, at the end of the day, I know, no matter what, I still hv my family and friends beside me and that truly means a lot. So, ya, I thank GOD for that at the end of every single day.

6th March 2008
I was watching “American idol 7” and I have definitely found a new favourite…of course I still love my katharine Mcphee and Chris Richardson but adding to the list of my favourite idols and very talented people is David Arceleta (I don know whether the surname is spelt correctly or not though)…this boy is only 17 and his voice….OMG! I mean, when he sings, he captivates because he really sings through his heart, he conveys the meaning through his melody…He was singing “Another Day in Paradise” and he sang it brilliantly. No offence, but everytime I hear this song on radio by Phil Collins, I tend to switch channel but when David sang it, I fell in love with the song and I really, for the first time truly understand the meaning of the song. Before this, I didn’t really pay attention to the lyrics, I just couldn’t feel the song. Well, David is really good and if he doesn’t win, I have no idea what is wrong with America and if really he doesn’t win, I still believe he is gonna have a great career.CHECK HIM OUT!!! You’ll fall in love with him. Yes girls, he’s cute but sadly, cute guys today are all younger than me, sigh…let’s not talk about it…=(…but this little boy, is really cute and the way he acts makes him so adorable.
Then there’s DANNY ….dunno his surname but you just have to find the ‘gay-est’ contestant…I mean I’m not against those transvestites or anything okay but sometimes, I just cant stand guys like me…I mean, they are guys, they look like a guy but the way they act are like,…even more girly than me…I’d rather they have a sex transplant thingy you know…but I mean, I just cant stand some of those people, not all of those guys I dislike…but this Danny, I just cant stand him…plz get him out of the competition man,…QUICK!
Because of industrial training, I dun really get to watch any movies lately. There are so many movies on screen now but then…sigh no time. I really want to watch “Vantage Point” and “mr. seuss: Horton hears a who” and “Before the Devil know you’re dead”, Jumper and of course “The Spiderwich Chronicles” – I love all these Sci-fi movies, no idea why haha,. But yea…no time! Missed all the good movies I must say. Nevermind, when I get back to college, I have to have a movie-spree!
Talking about college, my hands are shaking again…THE RESULTS ARE OUT!!!! Darn it…I mean, yesterday, I was really stressed out when my mum told me that the results are already out and my sis got straight As….of course I’m happy for her but tat;s a lot of pressure on me man! Last time, when we were in secondary school, i’m not boasting but I was the more hardworking one and she was the lazy one who care less about her studies haha…but as we entered college, we switch places. Now I’m the lazier one, who always, like we say in Malaysia “LEPAK” (loaf) around…go out for movies, hang out with friends gossiping everyday…and basically, whenever I have free time, I’ll find ways to have fun lar…but of course, when we have piled up assignments, it’s really time to die, no time for play. I know that assignments are first and foremost most important! However, I wont deny that I do procrastinate. Why do I worry about the results? First of all to get an A I got to score 90 marks and above in my finals (cuz our coursework marks were quite low…but highest in class so there’s room for a lot of improvement but it does affect our final exams)…I mean, after doing the exams, of course I know that it would be impossible to get that high…so I know it wont be all As for me…so there comes the pressure. I used to get all As, since last time, you just need 75 to get an A…now since the change, it’s a different story. So basically, last sem, all my supposingly As turned into B+….sigh…pressure, pressure, pressure…this morning I totally forgot about the whole result thing since my results will only be out next week (different course from my sis). But then, I heard this guy on radio, who studies in TARC n he mentioned his exams results,…darn it! At that moment, I really cant do my work. My hand shook like hell and I can’t write…now I feel better but before I shiver again from the thoughts of it..we stop here.
Back to American Idol, I totally forgot another fave of mine, Jason _?__(I shall confirm next week) but he’s good. The first contestant I like was actually him haha…I wouldn’t say I love David more now, cuz both of them are so different so….difficult..i hope both continue to perform and plz come out with albums…I’d love to see wat they’ve got
Okay moving on to more happy stuff! I WON TICKETS TO CATCH COLBIE CALLAIT IN MALAYSIA!!!!!!!!!! I cant believe it myself! I called 8TV and got 2 tickets!! I Love Colbie Callait! She’s natural and she can write and sing…I really love ppl with song writing talents…not any kind of songwriting though…I love songs with meaningful lyrics and songs which are from the heart and so far, two female artiste strike me most – one of course is Colbie and the other Taylor Swift! They are both girls with major talents and are good girls. I mean, I am stil a Britney fan but, she is definitely not a good role model. Colbie and Taylor on the other hand, I’d want myself to be like them. If there’s one talent I hope I have, it would definitely be songwriting. But so far, of course (though I’ve tried)…nothing works. Plus I don’t really have the music background so it’s difficult but of course, no one knows…maybe someday I might get the hang of it haha. I still am trying to write haha…but they are all stupid..you don’t wanna know
Hmm….remember I told you about the show “The Band of Brotherhood”…i just finished watching episode 9 yesterday and …I must say..my favourite episode of ALL!!! It’s so meaningful and touching. It touches on how the Nazis killed the Jews in large camps (I forgot what the camps are called)…it’s pathetic! I guess no people deserve to be treated like that by another human. Just like how the Africans are being treated. i guess seeing all these makes you realize how lucky you are to be warm and cozy and to be in the arms of your loved ones and to be at home, somewhere safe. Which totally is what I thought of when I heard the song “Another Day In Paradise” when David sang it just now. And then, watching it on TV are just depictions of wat actually happen. Just imagine the terror if it really were happening, which of it did happen. The world is full of violence, and as we continue to develop, people are getting more and more creative with stuff, and sadly, they come out also with innovative ways to kill or torture other people. Or, in Malaysia, I think , maybe you would be more worried about being robbed or gals, raped and robbed then accidentally killed. GREAT! Let’s continue to live in terror. I mean, now, you drive home late at night in terror man. Believe me! I know how it feels. When I was involved with the shooting of the film during my training last 2 weeks, I went home late(or rather, early) almost everyday. I was basically driving home at 1am ALONE (one day, I drove home at 5am) and I dunno the way. My map reading capabilities is as good as ….well I dunno William Hung’s singing…that means, I suck in map reading OK…and darn I wanted to stop to ask but when I thought of the incidents where ppl were robbed and stuff…I just stepped on the accelerator and follow whichever way I know. Usually I kept looking for the sign “CHERAS” or “PUSAT BANDARAYA (TOWN)”, the two place which I know best. Hopefully when I get there, I’d manage to blindly find my way home. I mean, if the world is a safer place, it would have been easier. Plus, it doesn’t help that I’m a small sized, kiddy looking, innocent and “SWEET” girl. Haha. But that’s not the point of course. Even grandma’s get raped here in Malaysia, so who cares…as long as you hv assets but ya, let’s not go there.
So, let’s talk serious business then. How’s my internship going? Well it’s been quite a journey I must say. There are definitely ups and downs…hmmm…a lot of tribulances definitely…what I go through the previous 2 weeks was definitely hell, but I must say, it wasn’t really that bad for me. I mean, it was tough but after going thru the process of working late nights, getting lost everyday and trying to read the maps and stuff, I guess at the end, I did learn a lot – both about the production industry and about myself …I mean I guess it’s time I really try and be more careful. I dunno, but I’m just used to being that absent-minded, carefree person who is messy haha…and that caused the lost of the house key and access card so …I’m trying to change here..not easy though. I found that I still need people to take care of me…haha…I’m not sure whether that’s a good thing or not though…I think all of this experience was worth it, though I feel really really really really really really (a zillion times) SORRY for the extra financial burden I put on my dad. The second hand car which cost RM 9000, then I knocked his car in an accident so had to do some car repair works which will cost something of course, and also the reapplication of the access card which cost another …sigh..RM 100. I really have to repay my dad someday…so I hope you guys can help me, if I ever produce a movie or something…JUST BUY IT – ORIGINAL!!!! Buy 2 or more copies…just to support me! Think of your parents, then you will know how I feel. You must help me! You dun wanna cause me to not be able to repay me dad rite? And remember… Dun download illegally…
So anyway, after the shooting of the film entitled “Stamp” is over, I’m sent back to the office to do some office stuff haha. I guess many people think that I’m more suited at the office haha. I guess some people would be surprise that I survived 2 weeks on set. I mean, I am always perceived as the girly-girl (even mum thinks so).The crew told me that there were 3 interns who quit just after 1 day on set; they just couldn’t stand the irregular hours. So, haha, I last the longest….between you and me, I’m very proud haha…but seriously, if it had lasted any longer, I’m not too sure whether I can go on…or maybe on the other hand I could be used to getting lost haha…anywayz I’m now working in the office…first few days were boring..nothing much to do….then I got to paste receipts and do some claims stuff …these few days however, was quite fun. I mean, though I still don’t like being confined in the office, but at least these few days I’m working for the marketing dept, in which I get to read a lot of ENTERTAINMENT MAGS!! HEAVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COME ON! I love mags…I love entertainment…perfect…but the thing is, it’s all abt the malay industry and stars but then I do love some Malay celebs too so …I got to know more abt Pierre Andre (muaks) and Nur Fazura (Muaks muaks)…Sazzy Falak, Que Haidar (I met him on set btw..haha I love him but I din get to ask for his autograph ….cuz I hv to act professional haha). But they also hv one or two english mags so …COOL! I’m paid to basically read my fave gossips in the entertainment industry haha….well I cut and paste stories related to their productions basically…so as I browse through for those articles, I take a few min off to read articles tat grabs my attention of course and then pretend that I’m seriously indulge in my work…
BUT I WOULD TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO PROMOTE THE MOVIE “STAMP”!!! I didn’t contribute much but I did do something. I did stand there and watch. OK…I mean, I shall give some credit to myself ya…I did help like with jotting down the audio time code for 2 days so, then I erm…help do the claims and just pass a few message to the crew…so at least some little tiny bit of contribution. So give some credit to me also ya….but you definitely won’t see my name in the list of credit lar….plz…
Ok back to the movie…”STAMP” is directed by Kabir Bhatia, who directed “Cinta” (which I have yet to watch and I will soon – recorded it but no time) starring my fave Pierre Andre……I saw Kabir in person…haha I was too intimidated and I didn’t really dare talk to him. But he is definitely a nice guy. I was too shy with him (as with all professional looking people, like my boss, Miss Gayatri) – very useless sigh. Cuz they are like great cool smart people and I terrifies me to talk to people like this. But I know I should build relations with them to succeed. Working on overcoming the “talking-confidently-to-professional-and-cool-people” fear. Then there was one of my fave actor, Que Haidar – he’s really a nice guy I think. He’s not those goofy, noisy kind of guy which sometimes get on my nerves. He’s just a simple, quiet, reserve and down to earth guy. Very cute haha…he’s 30 but looks like a teenager. ANywayz just watch the movie ok…I mean, I’m not bias, but I was attracted to the script when I read it in the office on my first day at work. It is hillarious. Even though the storyline…is not exactly to me unique and unpredictable (cuz you do come across this storyline in CSI – you’ll get what I mean if you WATCH it!!) …but the humor implanted in it makes it original and I would say, worth watching. And when I actually see the acting, it is so much more funnier…cuz the actors added their own humor in it, making it more natural and entertaining…SO WATCH IT!!!! Watch it at the cinemas and buy the VCDs also. It’s only 19.90 ok.
Anywayz it’s time to zzzz…it’s 1.30 am and I got to work tomoro (or rather, later)
So I’m gonna go see Chris Richardson now in America. He will be recording his 3rd single. We’ve recorded 2 songs yesterday and the day before. It’s been hectic in dreamsville, as well as in reality. Now you know why I don’t blog so often nowadays haha…So…yea….see you guys soon. Please don’t miss me ..

WITH LOTSA LOVE TO GIVE,
TAMMY
*p/s: pray for me…I hope I get excellent results…I promise to work harder next sem (try my best lar ..remember to pray for me!! Haha…only kidding ;)

With Lots of Love & Hugs & Kisses & Chris Richardson's scent from BabyT ;