Saturday, April 14, 2007
Today was really a bad day for me..
I thought that after one whole week of rushing for my assignments...all those late nites...that i could finally go home...that i could finally relax and have fun...enjoy....be happy
NO! i never had a chance...
i hurt my back after i fell down the other day...i tot it would be fine...but today it hurt...i told mum and all i get was scolding for being careless...
it's just so sad that, ppl just perceive u as careless and never really cared...
i know i'm clumsy, but then again...it's not like i want to fall down or wat rite? i dun wanna hurt myself too but sometimes, s*** happens...
and i just am not in the mood to get this scoldings after i had a disagreement with my dad about me going to college for my advance diploma...
part of me wants to go to TAR college becuz i hv more close friends there...is that bad? to be influenced by people?
also becuz i wanna go to UK ....just for the experience, but dad thinks no...3 months is nothing... well he was the one who say that the paper is not everything, and now suddenly the emphasis is on the difference between advance diploma n degree becuz degree is of higher standard.......
personally, i dun really care becuz part of me stil feels that attitude is so much more relevant...i might be not realistic in that sense but i dunno...
i mean, who is to prove that UTAR is better..i dunno ...and also ..no one can prove that TAR college is good as well...but then from the way i look at it...the good and talented ppl are all staying in TARC...so of course i'm like...attracted right?
anywayz i guess now my focus should be my finals...
it's really tough for me at this point cuz there are so many stuff i need to do..i need to get info on the college in order to convince dad...and of course i want to see a counsellor to help me sort out things cuz now i'm really f***ing confused...
i never tot that i would ever need to see a counsellor in my life...but yea i hope it will help me at least clear things up a bit...
my eyes are blurred ...
face wet...tired and hopeless
i just can't take it anymore..for the first time in my life...i wished i was hanging with my friends instead...and not back home
i guess tat's it for now..
i jus wanna go to bed and not dwell on all these probs..
take care peeps..
love ya
tammy
With Lots of Love & Hugs & Kisses & Chris Richardson's scent from BabyT ;
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Finally i've got some time off to actually write this thingy...
loads hv happened since i last blog..let's c...i've been bz with various assignments, most which requires in-depth research and a hell lot of time...
then, i've got other stuff to worry abt...where to continue my studies? huge decision to make..i must say, i'm still torn...
well my college kinda recommended me for an australian scholarship..ya great but then again it adds to my list of things to worry and think abt..first of all hte scholarship doesnt cover the living expenses, which means, my dad would hv to pay for my food n accommodation and i wil hv to work...well tat is the least of my worries actuallty, what i'm worried abt is if i can't maintain my good or rather 'excellent' results in australia, i will have to pay the uni back the money they sponsor me...and also the uni can't let me know sooner my application results, therefore, i will hv to delay my entry to UTAR just to wait for the application results...
i dun realy wanna start university late
but then again i dun really wanna go to UTAR bcuz not many friends of mine are going there..those who are actually going there are ...well...not really tat close to me...
so now i'm actually lobbyin frenz to go to UTAR..
then i considered going for advance diploma, but i've heard so many negative stuff and it kinda influence my decision of continuing my adv dip in KTAR
so someone has got to help me cuz i'm stuck ..i hv no idea wat to do now...
then there's college assignments to worry abt...we nearly had to reshoot our whole commercial...
phew luckily we managed to solve the prob...thanks to my friend elaine who is well connected with frenz in the industry...the tutor in my college..i'm sorry to say is really, not tat helpful...i mean we weren' t taught stuff abt shooting an ad...we learn by mistakes..HUGE MISTAKES which could jeopardize our project..
last friday..(which ironically was supposed to be "GOOD FRIDAY") was one of the most unlucky day..well i actually wouldn call it unlucky cuz i really learnt a lot, but then again it was really stressful as we hv to deal with the possibility that we would hv to start from scratch our project, which is to shoot a commercial for our 50th independence day...
my friend yean fun, who is the leader was in a total bad or rather disastrous mood.. the other 2 guys was not feeling any better...elaine, had a worst day as she had to drive all the way home just to get the video cam which she left at home....it was a terrible day for everyone ...
n me of course, was alo finding it hard to smile...we're just too tired...then halfway thru the hectic day..my shoe had found an excuse to snap...lucky i was jus a few metres away from my friend's house
luckily everything turned out the right way on saturday....problems solved and we get to start our editing work! yes! finally!
now our only prob is compressing the ad cuz it's too long...
well compared to having to reshoot the whole thing, this is really a minor prob i guess...
tomoro we hv to continue editing again i guess...i mean it's fun doing all these stuff though really stressful...but then again, if you have fun doing it, it's not tat bad...
for me, i feel tat it's really kinda fun doing the shooting and editing the clips, though honestly, i dun like the acting part...
i had to wear my stupid cheongsam n dance in dataran merdeka.for the love of GOd, it was horrible..not to mention embarrassing...but hten at the end of the shooting, i was too tired to bother the stares i got from the ppl ard me...
my legs were sore, i had to wear high heels and run on a wet field (my shoes were in a horrible state by the end of the shooting) ....u sud see the look on my face that day...i wasn't in a friendly mood...nearly argued wit yean fun...ya i was shoutin at her and she shouted back...that week was also another horrible week..especially for me cuz i hv to juggle 3 freaking assignments in like 4 days...
my conclusion, to be an actress or just being part of the cast is a hell of a job...not my thing.. i can wear sports shoes and try to hold a camera or jus do some editing work..but plz dun make me wear a cheong sam and dance AGAIN! pluz i can't even act in the first place =.=
anywayz tat's all for now
i'll write soon...next week is grandpa's birthday and we'll be heading back to ipoh...
something to look forward to! YAY!
okies take carezz ppl..
lotsa love
tammy
With Lots of Love & Hugs & Kisses & Chris Richardson's scent from BabyT ;
