Saturday, December 02, 2006
i must say this semester is another f***ing busy sem..
it's like you don't even have time to breath...every week there's stuff to do..i really dunno whether it's a good thing or bad thing..
i mean, keeping myself bz is good cuz it make time flies faster...especially when you are actually enjoying what you do..on the other hand, it could be extremely tiring and stressful...like what i'm experiencing now is the mixture of both..
at times, i do enjoy what i do, like my assignments for examples, i have loads of fun doing some of them...but i hate exams and of course some assignments sucks too..
for example, i had a great time doing my "film and society" assignment, where we have to study films cuz i get to study one of my fave malay movies "Gol&GIncu"...studyin about your own favourie movie is just easy (but i'm not sure whether i did it right or not) cuz u know the movie well..
the mass media law assignment on the other hand is killing me..this is the piece of ass that i'm workin on now..i mean it's like, who would actually wanna become a lawyer if LAW was THIS HARD??? Reese Witherspoon made it look that easy in LEgally Blonde..sigh
well wat else, oh and "Malaysian cultural & practices" is a BIG BORE...the lecture is ok but the lecturer is...darn slow...the tutorial classes is like BUddhism lecture (no offence to Buddhism, i'm a BUddhist myself) ..i mean the tutor is always talking about Buddhism n no one gets him...
he thinks he's real smart but ...he's a laughing stock..
well anywayz all these work loads have caused tremendous stress...and lately, i've been really down..though i dun think anyone knows..
i've been going through insecurity probs..it's like, i feel that i'm not good enough...not pretty enough. not tall enough, not cool enough......it just sucks...i always get this jealous feelings in side of me..especially when i'm so stressed out...i dun like that feeling at all..
well i always think that maybe that's life, maybe a lot of people out there feels the same way and i always always try to pray to God to help me overcome this period of times..very hard..
my dad says, it's all in hte mind, try to eliminate jealousy and desires, but it's hard, for me my desire is to always be the best in the things i wanna excel in...i always feels that it's important to have competition in life, so that you can always improve, but some people dun think so...like my friend Yean Fun, she said that's not the approach to life...but still i do believe that yes, in some aspects of life, you need to have competition...but true, competition hurts!
well i gueses that's just me, myself and i...i just have this idiotic thinking that hurts myself ...(right now...i'm actually panicking...cuz my dad is awake and it's 5 am n i'm not asleep yet..am i going to survive??)..
okies got to run........cuz dad might come out soon!! ARGH...my heart is pumpin fast...
take care peeps!!
~TAmmy OUt~
With Lots of Love & Hugs & Kisses & Chris Richardson's scent from BabyT ;
