♥ BABYT'S WORLD OF CRAP ♥

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Dated - 27-02-06

Sigh...Ok how r u ppl doin?? Well i'm in da middle of my semester break, havin a good time but i hv only a week left be4 i go back to the 'FUN' college life..well yea i mean studyin in college has its ups n downs like studying in any other places...i enjoy parts of it n despise parts of it haha...well life have to go on rite?? i just pray tat there won't be as many HARD assignments like last semester...i had a really hard time last semester crying over my piling assignments..sigh...nevertheless i completed them though not with flying colors.. my friends n i pulled it thru ...

sometimes i really wonder whether this is the right thing for me ...i mean it's pretty hard out
ther..u need to be really damn good to be in this broadcast industry n i dunno whether i hv the material for this or not... but i'm really not regretting..i really enjoy wat i'm doing right now...just tat i sumtimes feel tat i'm not good enuff...n if i'm not good enuff i can't continue to do wat i love rite?? hmm....

anyway next week is the beginning of a new semester, a brand new challenge...lookin forward to learning new stuff but not lookin forward to leave home...how i wish my mum moves to KL with me..i mean i'm the 'MUMMY GIRL' n i'm kinda proud of it haha...i'm really lazy n messy n of course i wish my mum would be ther to ..u know...help out..haha...besides when i'm down, usually becuz of assignments, i will at least hv my whole family to confide in..
my sis will be joining me in college real soon... sigh sigh sigh... i'm not sure whether it's good or bad...i mean...we r from 2 completely different worlds..meaning we hv completely n i mean COMPLETELY different personalities...i can't stand her n she can't stand me...we r close at times but usually we just can't get along...well maybe it's becuz i'm too talkative or maybe it's becuz she's too QUIET!! i think she's too quiet..haha..she says that i'm too noisy n it irritates her alot...to me it's like...wat is wrong wit her..it seems like everythin i said is just wrong...i can't even ask questions sumtimes...like i missed a few episodes on 'Lost' n i just ask her wat's happening and there she goes...starts givin me tat expression...telling me tat i'm very irritating.... so u mean i hv to shut up 24-7 n never open my mouth?? wat d heck!! just bcuz she shuts her mouth always (unless if the topic is on sports), doesnt mean tat i hv to follow suit rite?? See the prob with her i think is that she's sumtimes really really serious abt stuff..Like sumtimes i move my body n dance along to the music (even in public sometimes) n she thinks that i'm embarrasing her.. for me is like, no one cares..besides i wasn't really dancing tat obviously..sumtimes i can't even sing along to the song in public when she's around....when she's serious..things go wrong cuz she'll get on my NERVES (or maybe in her case..the other way around).... The times we get along r usually when she's "drunk" (as in crazy) and that is when she's in a good mood n when her "HAPPY NERVES" are functioning... but hell, maybe it's my prob...she clicks wit my bro...(their usual chat topic would be ---> yea, sports n school; n also making fun of each other, i do join in as well hehe...)

Seriously ..i mean..if u like her type..u r definitely gonna hate mine...haha....here's y..
My Sis L.O.V.E.S football, sports, anything tat has NOTHING to do with girlish girlish stuff (tat is no skirts)..she doesn't like to shop for Chinese New Year clothes cuz my mum force her to buy sumthing more Feminine..oh Boy..u sud hv seen tat sulky look on her face..i was so pissed when i saw her tat way...i mean come on it's Chinese New YEar For God sake..can't u be happier??? She was all frowns n mum has to bear with tat....as for me ..i'm d opposite la..i hv nothing against sports, it's just that i'm not into it...i understand tat a lot of ppl lurves it n some r CRAZEE abt it...but i just can't get myself into likin it...n maybe tat's d prob wit me..with guys i really hv no 'conversation currency'..actually it would be great if i'm involved with sports..haha..then i wouldn't be tat plump...haha...anywayz i love girlish girlish stuff unlike me sis haha, i mean not all d girly stuff but a lot of it i guess ..i LOVE anythin tat has to do with pink, pink n pink n obviously she hates it.. i love shopping for new clothes or just anything my mum buys i usually like..(cuz my mum n i have almost d same tastes..n f.y.i. my mum n i hv good tastes ok...) ...
My sis emphasizes on neatness n i don't hehe...(i know, i know... my bad)... so she's like the OLDER sis always nagging me on cleanliness even though i came out first 11 months earlier..well to be honest i admit that i sud be a bit more tidy though hehe...
anyways...she's really matured n independant compared to me..she never tells my parents her stuff, she solves her own probs ...i solve my own probs too but tat's like after confiding in everyone abt it...she's the type tat practice the saying 'Action speaks louder than words',..i really HATE to say this but i ..erm.. am kinda the opposite most of the time..(i talk more than i do...hehhe...but it doesn't mean tat i dun do the things tat i said i would) well...she's really good in mechanical n electronical stuff (yes she's a gurl n she fix TV n stuff..oh my GOD!!..i wish i can do that ..) but i guess i'm good at ..ermm...talking..haha...or watching TV or gossiping on celebrities..(those r talent too...hehe) but i guess the only thing tat i feel proud of myself for is that when i love something...I WILL DO MY BEST in it..I WILL GIVE IT ALL!..like i love my field of study n i really would wanna do well...other than that..i feel tat i lose out in everything compared to my sis...the ppl i like always likes her more..they r always telling me how cool my sis is n all...but no one has ever said tat abt me..never!! i think everyone thinks i'm too noisy n irritating... i guess maybe i am...though i never admitted it ever in front of anyone....i think the only thing we share some similarity is in the type of songs n movies n TV shows ...n even tat v sometimes dun hv the same opinions.. like we also argue when American Idol is on..like who is better ... (i'm 'ALwAYS' right..hehe..) ..like she thinks Carrie Underwood is good???? oh PLE-ASE!! no offense to all Carrie's fans out ther but she's really quite ...normal..BO BICE is Like way better...ooo.. n i like Jesse McCartney (yea i know it's lame n pretty childish...he's not vocally strong i know but i just like his songs yea..) but she totally hates him..i LOVE RUPERT GRINT and she hates him...n she prefers Hermoine...hmmm...

although i feel tat i lose out ALOT compared to my sis, i always feel that i'm really really lucky...i'm lucky tat i hv a bunch of best friends who understands me...maybe they think i crap alot too..but at least they accept me for d way i am...i am grateful tat i hv supportive parents as well...my mum who tolerated my laziness all these years..dad who is just full of good advises..(though not all agreeable..hehe) i'm just really thankful to GOD who blessed me with everything..

honestly i do hate myself sumtimes...i always wonder y i always say the wrong things at the wrong time n embarassed myself or y sometimes i dun know wat to say or y sumtimes my tongue is tied and blurt out all the wrong English (especially when talking to some really 'influential' ppl or the ppl i admire)...i wonder y i like to criticize d celebrities that i dislike (lindsay lohan, a lot more but can't think of any at d moment....) also,..y do i get jealous so easily?? hmm...i mean there r 2 types of jealousy in my dictionary...the first one is tat u r jealous but u just LOVE the person that u r jealous of (in other words...u admire the person; EXAMPLES: Marion Caunter, Huey Ning, Britney, ....), the other type is PURE ENVY ..u just despise tat person becuz they r better than u n their attitude just gets on your NERVES!!! Luckily i usually feel the first type of jealousy rather than the 2nd type...i am only really jealous of one person in my life n tat is "A SECRET' hehe..but now i dun feel tat way so much anymore....though yes i still feel it sumtimes (wat am i talkin abt??)
but then.. i feel really blessed tat i'm still myself though, yes i do need to change a lil...haha...i'll change really if Rupert Grint wants me too...=)
i feel tat God's every decision for me is always a blessing in disguise... i mean...for example, He made me go for National Service which i obviously HATED ..but in the end...it was not tat bad..in fact it was quite a great experience for me...n i met a few REALL REALLY GREAT FRIENDS there...like Ah Ching n Huey Ning...whom i learnt so much from.....my sis ..is not so lucky in this case haha...no matter how hard she tried..she still isn't selected for National Service...i mean..it's really hilarious....i told ya we're different...she almost cried when she found out that she wasn't selected for National Service n i on the other hand CRIED NON-STOP when i found out tat i had to go for it...(i mean after i attended it was a different story)...
So at the end of everyday...no matter how badly it went..I still thank GOD for every thing!! thanks!!! muaxxx!!

Yea i guess i better stop here cuz i know i crap too much...well i guess it's becuz of the time i hv ..i really hv nothing much to do...yea i know i sud read papers n all haha..but that's boring..wat's better than doing wat i do best rite?? (crap..hehe) anywayz...it's always great to write n express how u feel, even though it's a bit too long (it's TOO LONG i know.. actually i still wanna comment on Lindsay Lohan but...i better stop here..haha) ...it's one of my fave things to do...yea i mean i dun blog often though rite haha...but i do hv a personal diary which i write in ...all my personal stuff...all my secrets...hmmm.....Well i'm out...Oh...n check out American Idol 5..Katharine, Ace, n Chris RoCKS!!! If u happen to be in America ..help me support them yea..hehe...of course MY RYAN SEACREST is still in..(he's so cute...) so make sure u guys check them all out alrite??!!! YES!!
TaKe CaReZ fOlKs!!

~Tammy the "Magnificent" =) ~

With Lots of Love & Hugs & Kisses & Chris Richardson's scent from BabyT ;