Thursday, April 14, 2005
Fortunately, character-building classes only took up two weeks of our whole programme. Nevertheless we still felt like ages before it finally ended. After this module was over, we went home for our Chinese New Year break for 4 days. Chinese New Year this year was as usual - my relatives all came back, we had potluck on the second day of New Year, and we went visiting. Even though it was great to be home for the festive season, I still kind of missed camp at that time. I missed all my dorm mates and friends. On the third day of Chinese New Year, it’s time again to head back to camp for the last stretch of National Service. I was so excited because finally the community service module will be kick starting. Community service is the module that I guess almost everyone looks forward to because we get to actually go out more often to help people and learn about the community. We get to visit places like the hospital, prison, TUDM (Air Force) headquarters, fire station, drug rehabilitation centre, and old folks’ home. We get to also experience a lot of different things. Once again, for this module we were divided into new groups and boy was I glad to find out that almost all of my best friends from my dorm are in the same group as I am. I have Huey Ning, Ah Chin, Si Mei, Chew Mei and Jeisy. We were all in the first group. There are 5 large groups all together. The large groups were divided into sub-groups –e.g. Group 1.1, 1.2, 1.3, and 1.4. I was in group 1.1 with Si Mei and Jeisy whereas Huey Ning was in group 1.2 with Ah Chin and Chew Mei. But then it doesn’t really matters because all of us are in group 1 and we did everything together. The small groups were just to simplify the marking of attendance. We have four community teachers in our group, led by Cikgu Ramli (one of my favourite teachers) The teachers are of course in charged of taking care of our safety, guiding us and managing our disciplines. (Very tough)
Community service is one of the best modules of all. Well, firstly because I get to hang out with my pals more often and secondly we learn so much from all these visits. On our first day, we headed to the girls’ drug rehabilitation centre where we got an opportunity to meet girls who were once involved with drugs. I was impressed to see the centre, as it looked really beautiful, clean and new. The hostels looked even better than our dorms back in camp. My friends and I started joking that even the drug addicts have a better home than us. When we were there, a lady who had recovered from drugs shared with us her story. She told us how she got lured into drugs and how she overcame it. She was quite an intelligent girl who used to get good grades in school. But because she came from a traditional family, she was force to get married in an early age. So when she was 18, her mother had arranged for her to marry a rich man. To her mother, this guy was the perfect man for her daughter because he had money, cars and a big house. But what she didn’t know was that this man is a drug dealer and all the wealth were the ‘benefits’ of the drugs that he sold and the lives that he had took. Not long after they got married, the police arrested that man when they found drugs in his car and he was sentenced to death. So the lady in order to continue surviving had to resume her husband’s drugs selling business. Later she too got involved with drugs herself. Soon she was caught by the authorities and was sent to the Drug Rehabilitation Centre for females in Bachok, Kelantan,(the centre we visited) the only drugs rehabilitation centre for girls in the whole of Malaysia. According to the supervisor of that centre, no matter where you are in Malaysia, if you are a girl and if you are caught taking drugs you will be sent to this centre in Kelantan. The lady told us that when she was sent to the centre for the first time, she was still really stubborn. She was determined to return to drugs after two years in the centre. So at that time, she told herself to be patient and wait for the day she is release from the centre. After two years, she was finally free from the centre. She doesn’t want to go home for she ashamed and was sure that her family wouldn’t accept her anymore. So as she had planned, she went back to find her old drug mates. She continued selling drugs to make a living. For the second time, she was caught and once again was sent to the same centre. The second time in the centre still did not manage to change her. She was too addicted to drugs. So she kept going back to drugs after she was released from the rehabilitation centre. She said that as a drug addict, she had done so many illegal things. She said that she even had to search for food from the rubbish bin and sleep under the bridge. But fortunately on the fifth time she entered the centre, it finally came to her how wrong and stupid she was before this. She finally realizes that all that she’s done before this is worthless and that it’s time to change herself. With her determination and help from the centre’s staff, she managed to completely overcome the temptation for drugs. She even joked that she has been sent into the centre for so many times that even the staffs there had recognized her. Now, she is working for the rehabilitation centre as a volunteer to help manage new girls who are drug addicts by sharing her experience. She said that when she sees new girls entering the centre, she’d be reminded of herself. That’s why she wants to do her best to help them, like the way the other staffs had helped her. She also advises us not to ever touch drugs. Once you are stuck with this shit, it is not easy at all to drop it. Drugs can ruin our lives so easily. After hearing her story, I guess everyone there is conscious about the danger of drugs and is afraid to ever go near drugs. I for one am traumatized by her story and I will definitely not get myself into all this shit. I mean, imagine eating from a rubbish bin. Later, we watched a pantomime performed by the girls in the centre. When I saw them, I think they don’t look like drug addicts at all. Some of them are really pretty. There’s only one word that can describe their performance – excellent. Their face expressions were aptly portrayed. There was this part where the mother cried when her daughter left and I think that the tears she cried are actually real. I bet they can even be nominated for the Oscars because their acting was so surreal. They acted a story about a girl who got involved with drugs because she was facing some family crisis. Her dad left her and her mother. She felt that her family doesn’t love her anymore. Later while she was walking alone, she bumped into two boys who taught her smoking and later introduced her to the KILLER – drugs. One day, one of her friend died because of drugs and she began to acknowledge the danger of drugs. She was then sent to the rehabilitation centre where she was cured. At the end of the performance, all of us were truly touched. Then we had a question and answer session with three other drug addicts who are still receiving treatment from the centre. (I forgot their names though) The first lady is about 40 years old, the second one is about 30 years old and the last girl is only 22 years old, the youngest in the centre. She started drugs at the early age of 14. The trainees are allowed to ask them any questions, even sensitive ones. The first question was of course how they got involved with drugs. We can actually summarized by saying that men are the reasons why all of them got addicted to drugs. One of them was influenced by her husband while the other two by their boyfriends. I really enjoyed listening to the lady sitting in the middle for she is extremely funny. I mean, even though she had made a wrong decision to take drugs, she admitted her mistake and now she’s not ashamed of herself. She’s now actually the head prefect who leads the other girls. I really hope that when she comes out one day, she wouldn’t go back to drugs again. Then the next trainee asked the second question, which everyone thought was a stupid one - “Don’t you think that all of you are stupid to get involved in drugs just because of boys?” When she asked that question, all the boys were like so unpleased even though some joked along. The girls on the other hand were laughing and making fun of the boys. But seriously, we thought that this is a ridiculous question that never should have been asked. However, the 22-year-old girl answered that question brilliantly. She explained that no matter what, every girl needs a boy in her lives and that they are not stupid for wanting a man in their lives. She told us that not all men are evil because they are good ones out there as well. They were just unlucky to have bumped into some dishonest men. She advised the girls to be more vigilant of boys and told the boys to be good. I am really impressed by the way the girl answered that question; put me in her shoes and I will definitely stammer. We only managed to ask 2 questions as we have really limited time. When the session had ended, our teacher, Cikgu Ramli gave a short speech and expressed that he was truly touched by the girls in the centre (we actually saw tears in his eyes) He also thanked the centre for enlightening us on the consequences of taking drugs. Before we left the centre, we sang the Khidmat Negara (National Service) song entitled ‘Wira-wirawati’ as a gift to the centre. I also managed to shake some of the girls’ hands. I was really happy. At the end of this visit, I am truly aware about the dangers of drugs and how easily drugs can destroy your whole life. That is why right now I’m a bit sceptical of moving to KL to continue my studies. I mean, what if I accidentally mix with the wrong bunch of people and get tangled up with drugs? I dread to even think about it. But I do have a little faith left in myself and I really hope that somehow God would be there next to me in everything. Besides I do have a strong family behind me to support and encourage me.
With Lots of Love & Hugs & Kisses & Chris Richardson's scent from BabyT ;
Friday, April 08, 2005
Everyday, 6.30 p.m. is dinnertime. For most of us (who were not so hardworking) will stay in the dorm and prepare our own dinner ourselves. Well, we’ll have instant noodles instead. It’s really troublesome to go to the canteen because we had to change from our sports wear to our ‘baju kelas’ (Class uniform), which is so uncomfortable and not to mention ugly. Imagine wearing some sort of blue long sleeves shirt with a pair of trousers and heels just to go to eat. We don’t even have time to bath before changing into our baju kelas or what every trainee calls it - factory workers’ uniform. I really don’t get the whole purpose of having us changing into our class uniform (baju kelas) for dinner. I mean, what’s the difference if we wear our sports wear? It’s still attire provided by the government. Since that’s the rule, my friends and I resorted in eating in the dorm or going to the café for dinner. (The café’s food is not any better than the canteen’s actually but then at least we don’t have to wear our uniforms while eating there and we can also take our time to bath before eating there) Occasionally we might consider having dinner in the canteen.
After dinner, we have all the time for ourselves until 9 p.m. So usually it’s bathing time and after that I will hang out in my dorm, listen to some music, chat and relax. Usually at 8.45 p.m., after the Muslims had pray, the siren will ring. All of us will be then wearing our class uniform and will be rushing out to line up in front of the hall. Only then will we find out about what we are going to do next. Every night, we do different things. We usually have ‘malam kebudayaan’ (cultural night) on Monday. During cultural night, we had to group according to our race and discuss about our performance for the last day of National Service. Each race have to perform their own traditional dances, songs or whatever they think is related to their culture. I usually find Monday nights boring because the Chinese usually ended up doing other things rather than discuss. Even if they actually discussed about it, I would care less. I mean, in the end I’ll just do what ever they want me to. So usually my friends and I would secretly sneak back to our dorms and carry out our own activities instead. Sometimes at night the teachers will give us talks or lectures on the programmes on the next day. Usually all these night activities will cause my bad moods to erupt suddenly from nowhere. I mean, it’s nighttime; everyone is exhausted after a whole day of tiring activities and still we had to sit through almost an hour or more of hypnotizing lectures making us feel worst. Oh and then at eleven o’clock should be our bedtime but then they made us sing ‘Negaraku’ (our national anthem) and ‘Wira-wirawati’ (the National Service Theme Song). By doing this, they delayed our sleeping hour to like about half an hour late. Our sleeping time is extremely precious; well at least for me it is, even though I must admit that I don’t sleep that early in camp sometimes.
After our Hari Raya Haji holidays, (Which we went home for 5 days) we went back to camp to find that we were placed in different groups for the character building module. I was really sad. I really like my old group members (from D1). Besides, I was actually really worried that I wouldn’t click with my new group members. It’s a whole new beginning and I will have to make new friends once again. That day, my friends and I went to check out the name list, which contained the names of our new group members. I was extremely nervous even though I know it’s just a temporary thing, I don’t know why. I wasn’t that happy that Huey Ning, my closest friend wasn’t in my group but fortunately I had Si Mei and Ah Chin in mine. We were divided to 4 groups or classes to be precise. I’m in Class 4 while Huey Ning was placed in class 1 with some of her other Alpha friends. Yin Yin was alone in Class 3. Even though we have new groups for character building, in the afternoon (2p.m.), I’m still in Delta for the physical module. (Yup, we’re still not done yet with the physical stuffs) So at least I still get to see my old mates. Character building was the WORST module of all four modules. Just ask anyone out there the worst module among the four and I’m sure that the answer would be character building. Maybe you don’t even have to ask, they’ll just tell you that. I apologize but I really have to say this, what in the world is the government thinking when they were creating this module. The whole module is a mistake. They should cancel it or at least redesign it.
During character building, we were supposed to learn how to be more confident of ourselves, how to make full use of the people around us and ourselves. But in the end of this module, I don’t really get anything. I’m still the low self-esteem girl and I don’t feel any extra confident at all. The activities and games designed in this module are way too outdated for our age. I mean, how can you actually treat us, teenagers like little children. I consider myself totally immature and childish at times and even I find the activities extremely kiddie. What do you think more matured teenagers out there think? We have to do silly hand actions, play games that are not fun at all, make funny noises, complete workbooks and the list goes on and on. My friend, Ah Chin even destroyed her workbook by tearing it to pieces. She doesn’t care at all. (Well I guess I handled my stress better than her) There was even this silly song (I’m not even sure whether I should call it a song) called ‘Roti Canai, Char Kuey Tieu’ or something and we actually had to sing it. So you expect 18 year-olds out there to actually enjoy themselves singing this. There are so many other ways to teach us how to really build good characters. Fun activities are necessary to help succeed this module but definitely not the activities they had arranged for us. I was enormously shocked when I found out that the government spent millions of Ringgit (our currency) to invent these activities for us. I’m like; why not pay me instead because I can think of something better. In fact, I think everyone can think of something better than what they had came out with. Well, in my opinion, it’s better to have chat sessions instead of us hearing what they have to say most of the time. It’s good to have more teachers to really get to know each and everyone of us. Then only can they recognize our problems and help us overcome them. They should also do sessions in small groups so that everyone has a chance to speak up. This might help boost confidence and that’s exactly what we want – help teenagers be more confident and be able to express themselves. For me, I’m really shy when it comes to sharing my opinions in public and believe me; I can never do public speaking. But when I’m force to, I’ll at least try to. For my case, I only speak up when people ask for my opinions. Usually I keep my mouth shut. (But then when I’m with close friends, my mouth just can’t stop functioning. I’ll keep talking and talking) For others, they might have other problems when it comes to opening up. So this module should create chances for teenagers to speak up their minds. Do activities that require presentations and thinking. I could really use some mind exercises that help increase my IQ. Besides this, it’s also nice to help shy and quiet teenagers learn how to mix around. I noticed that in my camp, they are a few candidates who always stick to themselves and they have no friends. They are really nice people but it’s just that they find it hard to connect with others. One of them is this quiet girl I know named Tieng Wei. Seriously, the character-building module really needs some modification. DO SOMETHING QUICK before more victims go crazy. I’m sure if the government would put their minds to it, the outcome of this module would be more beneficial and would serve the purpose.
With Lots of Love & Hugs & Kisses & Chris Richardson's scent from BabyT ;
Thursday, April 07, 2005
12.30 p.m. is the time for lunch everyday, which I sometimes skip because I really can’t stand the food served by the canteen. Seriously, if there were anything I dislike about the camp, it would definitely be the canteen food and the toilets. The food in the canteen is always too salty and the drinks are often too sweet. But what do you expect, I mean at least you have food to eat, right. The toilets were, not exactly dirty but then the water’s condition is pathetic. Sometimes there’s worms inside the water, so every time I scoop the water, I double check whether there’s any worms in it. At times, we even have to bath dirty, brown coloured water or sometimes worst, no water at all. Anyway, so from 12.30 p.m. to 2 p.m. would be our (non-Muslims) break time. The Muslims will of course have to pray at about 1.30 p.m., so they wouldn’t call that period a ‘break-time’. In fact, I kind of pity the Muslims because except for Sundays, they really don’t have a time for breaks like we, non-Muslims do. Another example would be from 6.30 p.m. to 9.00 p.m. at night. During this time, we would enjoy ourselves because we have plenty of time to bath, eat and hang out but the Muslims, they have to rush through their dinner and bath in a hurry so that they can go for their prayers on time at around 7.30 p.m. I guess. Then about an hour later they have to pray AGAIN. What a life. In addition to that, they still have to attend numerous lectures on Islam. I’m not criticizing their religion, in fact I respect their discipline and obedience but you will definitely not see me being part of their religion.
At 2 p.m. sharp or earlier at times, will be our physical training session. The module I love. Well I know I’m not the sporty type but it is kind of fun to have some muscles working. For the physical module, we train in flights – Alpha, Bravo, Charlie and Delta, a bit different from ‘Kenegaraan’ (Nationhood) where we work in smaller groups. So I’m in Delta (for physical) and BATIK or D1 (for kenegaraan). Complicated…not really. Anyway, there are so many fun activities arranged for us in the physical module. All I really like except for……….marching. There’s absolutely nothing anyone can do to make me change my perception on marching. I mean, not only for me, I’m sure most of the girls there hate marching mainly because of the burning hot sun that would cause so much damage to their skin what-so-ever. For me the sun is just a small issue (not to say that it’s not an issue) but the real deal that makes me despise marching so much is that I was kicked out of my school’s marching team not once but twice before. Marching brings back a lot of sad memories. Sigh. OK back to NS. The physical module was like I said my favourite because I get to do a lot of things that I would not get to do normally. For example, going for the flying fox was one of the best experiences ever. When I was below looking at the people up there who were ready to jump, I was kind of confident that the flying fox isn’t going to be a problem at all for me. I was ready to take the challenge but I waited a long time for my turn. Finally my turn came and I was so ready for it. But it wasn’t until I was on the way up there that I felt really nervous. I thought I was so brave at first but apparently I was wrong. I need to be up there to feel the fear. Fortunately I’m not afraid of heights, so it was not that bad for me but for some people, they had a really hard time persuading themselves to slide down. I tried to remain calm and pretended that I was fine and that I don’t feel a bit of fear when in fact I was extremely scared. I keep thinking that I cannot embarrass myself like some of the girls did in front of the guys below there who were watching. I won’t give them any chance to laugh at me. So, with the little courage I have left inside of me, I slid down the wire and thank God I landed safely, not a perfect landing but at least I was safe and sound. Besides flying fox, we actually got to learn some self-defence skills (Known as Tempur Tanpa Semjata –TTS). I’ve always wanted to learn some sort of martial arts and I was really glad that I finally had a chance to. The best thing is it’s free. Unfortunately, we only have enough time for a few lessons, so we only learned the basics of kicking and some other simple manoeuvres.
We also did kayaking, which was really fun. We had to walk a few kilometres to a lake nearby for the kayaking session. On our first session, we had to learn swimming even though I already know how to swim. The lake water was extremely dirty not to mention smelly and we have to actually submerge our whole body in it during our swimming lessons. Only after submerging our bodies in water that we had completed our ‘swimming lessons’. I don’t even understand why they have this swimming session at all. It doesn’t really help those who don’t know swimming because in the end they still have no idea on how to swim. Furthermore, we wore safety jackets and that can somehow prevent us from drowning. And only after completing our swimming lessons that we get to do some serious kayaking, well which only lasted for a few minutes. My only problem after the kayaking session was that my face began to itch because I am sensitive to seawater. My whole face was red with rashes and everyone kept asking me the same question, “ What’s wrong with your face?” and “ Why is your face so red?” I kind of like attention, but not in that embarrassing way. I asked the medics for water to clean my face and those irresponsible freaks just wouldn’t care. So I asked the trainers for permission to go back to camp to wash my face and they were really nice to allow me to do so. I had to run a few kilometres back to camp as fast as possible in order to save my face. What a day. But then I didn’t regret at all because I did get to try kayaking. If I told the teachers about my allergy, I’m sure they won’t allow me to do it.
Then there was of course the ‘Kembara Halangan’ (obstacle course), which was the highlight of the National Service programme. Who could forget the monkey racks, the Tarzan swing and the 6 feet wall? I’m not really a physically strong person and so it’s not such a big deal that I fell a couple of times while doing the monkey racks and the Tarzan swing. But then I did enter the Obstacle Course Competition, where we had to compete with the other flights. When I was in camp, occasionally I felt that some of my group members discriminated me because of my small size or should I say, my stunted growth factor. They hesitated to let me enter the competition at first even though I only volunteer to become a substitute. They needed 30 girls in the team and 5 girls as substitute but then there were not enough girls in Delta, so I volunteered in order to complete the team. They questioned my abilities when I handed in my name and I was really pissed at that time but I managed to control my temper, but not for long as I started complaining about it when I was back in the dorm and practically the whole night. My friends listened and were really supportive. They kept consoling me and telling me that it’s a good thing that I was not chosen for the competition. To me, it was not the fact that they did not choose me that bothered me, but it’s because they underestimate me because of my size. I mean, like my close friend, Huey Ning, just because she’s tall and pretty, people trusted her abilities. This is actually not the first time my group members deduct my chances of taking part in competitions. Before this, I was not chosen to play volleyball for the team because I am…once again SHORT. Well I don’t mind that I’m not chosen at that time but then it’s like they do it to me all the time. But in the end, I managed to enrol myself as a reserve for the obstacle course competition and what happened was on the day of the competition, one of my friends was sick and guess who had to fill in her place - me! I was really nervous at that time because that was my chance of proving myself to my teammates. I have to nail that competition to win their trust. Even though I fell while doing the monkey racks and the Tarzan Swing (which caused 2 points to be deducted from my team), I feel proud of myself that I managed to complete the whole obstacle. When the results were announced, I was overjoyed when Delta won the obstacle course for both the WIRA and WIRAWATI category. I shouted too loud when I heard the results that I almost deafen the girl standing next to me. Seriously.
After that, some girls in my team started to believe more in me and that’s why for the next competition, which was the ‘rakit’ (raft) competition, I was asked to join. I was actually not the first choice but because other Chinese girls were having ‘monthly problems’, so I was their last resort. I hesitated at first because I really have no idea on how to ‘rakit’(raft) as I have never in my life done it before and suddenly, without any practice, I would be thrown in the middle of the lake to compete with other groups. Besides, I doubted I have enough strength to even move the ‘rakit’(raft) but I secretly hid my doubts as I don’t want other people to look down on me again. So what I did was, I tried searching for another Chinese girl who can take my place. (We need a Chinese girl to complete the team because they need multi-races in a team) Unfortunately, most of them were having ‘female problems’ and the only girl left was already in D1. (Delta was divided into two raft teams, D1 and D2) So I had to do it although I had zero confidence. But at that time, I was really happy that they at least, began to trust me. I was really excited during the day of the competition and was really hoping that we will do well, not win but at least not in the last place. But my worst than worst nightmare happened that day. We’re up against Charlie, our strongest competitor (Alpha and Bravo are usually not good enough) D1 went first and they did a wonderful job overtaking the ‘Charlians’. D2 (my team) was supposed to continue their glory, but not only did we fail, we were so bad that we were disqualified. The competition goes like this: We were supposed to raft about 50 metres to a buoy and from there make a U-turn back. D1 goes first and make a turn to return to the starting point. Then D2 continues and make another turn to complete the competition. But what my team did was we lost control of the raft and end up some where in the middle of the lake. They had to ask the rescue boat to actually pull us back to the starting point. Before this, we were laughing at the Alphians for being disqualified for the same reasons but now it’s our turn.
What’s worst was that when I reached the bank, everyone (even one of the teachers) was telling me that I was the one rowing the oars in a completely opposite way from the others. In order words, I was the one who caused my team’s defeat. I felt extremely embarrassed with myself. I mean, my teammates trusted me for the first time and I screwed everything up. I really didn’t know where to hide my face that day. I kept running away from all the Deltians. (That’s my creative way of calling the members of Delta) I told my best friends but it didn’t help much, I still felt like hell that day. Luckily most people were too focused on the rest of the competition to actually notice me much. I hate it because for once, everyone was right; I’m pretty useless and I’m weak. Later, Delta’s physical teacher, En.Aziz, told us not to hold grudges or blame each other for the loss. (The more he said, the worst I felt) The WIRA lost to Charlie actually earlier before us. At least they were not disqualified like us and they didn’t have anyone to blame. But for the girls, it was pretty obvious that I was the ‘losing factor’. I think even the teacher know it. Sigh. Charlie won the raft competition by the way.
Life has to move on no matter what. Soon, everyone was concentrating on the ‘Marching Competition’. Boy, am I glad that I’m not part of it. I can’t march anyway so I better not waste my time and my teachers’ time. But I had a wonderful time watching the marchers do their thing. Well as usual, it’s a competition between the four flights – Alpha, Bravo, Charlie and Delta. This time, our greatest fear wasn’t Charlie as we saw them practising and they were, well…. not as good as us. This time Bravo was really good. Bravo was known as the worst flight for they never won anything at all before this, in fact they always came in last. Not this time. On the day of the competition, they were outstanding. Bravo performed first, followed by Alpha, Charlie and Delta was last. Even though the marching was not perfect, but seriously, what do you expect from a bunch of teenagers who were given only a limited time to practice. I truly admire the marchers because they actually managed to march so well even though they were only given a few hours to practice, like two days before the competition. I definitely wouldn’t be able to achieve that accomplishment. You can give me a year and still I won’t be able to do what they did. Okay, Okay, calm down. The results?? I know you are eager to find out. Well apparently according to my teacher, Delta scored the lowest for the marching part. In order words, our marching was worst than Charlie. (I totally disagree but it’s the judges’ decision) Bravo was obviously the winner; even the blind knows that. But fortunately the Delta marchers dressed up really neat and so they scored a lot of points for the uniform section. (They conducted a uniform inspection before the competition and points were taken for that category as well) So overall Bravo was the winner (Surprise! surprise!), my flight –Delta came in second, followed by Alpha and this time Charlie took the last place. Muahaha!!!!! Bravo of course deserved the taste of victory. As for Delta, we’re happy that we were second; we thought we were last (The teacher lied to us when he told us we were in the last place)
Well I guess Charlie deserved to lose at least once. I mean they won the ‘raft’ competition and the sports competition before that. There was a sports competition earlier on (before the Hari Raya Haji holidays, if I’m not wrong) where each flight had to compete in 3 types of games – beach volleyball (my favourite), beach football and netball. I did not take part in any sport, well mainly because I was not wanted. I did volunteer to try out for volleyball, but obviously I was too short. Nevertheless I had such an enjoyable time supporting my flight and my friends who played for their flights. I didn’t know that watching a sport could be so exciting and fun. But in the end, Delta performance was not as good as Charlie. We came in second and third place for most of the games.
Needless to say, Charlie was the overall winner again.
During the physical training module, we had to camp in the forest twice. The first time, we went to Jeram Hilir to camp there. The first time was a total disaster as it rained heavily at night causing all our belongings to get soaked and wet. I mean, we weren’t exactly given tents to sleep in; we were only given two sheets of nylon cloth – one on the floor and the other tied above as a shed. When we reached there earlier in the evening, everyone started to make their own shelter using the nylon cloth and strings. But seriously, how can that piece of nylon protect us from the rain. That’ s why when it rained heavily, the whole bunch of us including our stuff got completely drench. Our condition that night was disastrous. We were soaked and we felt extremely cold. What’s worst is that all our bus had gone and so we don’t have transport to go back to camp. Our teachers tried to persuade us to endure the night there but all of us really can’t stay in that place anymore. We were so desperate that we force our teacher to think of a way to get us out there that instant. Even though there was an activity that night, all of us weren’t concentrating because we were too focused on the rain and the condition of our stuff. Soon the teachers surrendered because they know that we can’t take it anymore. So they asked us to pack and get ready to head back to camp. That was good news but the bad news was that they only managed to contact one bus driver; meaning to say there’s only one bus available. So, I had to wait for hours until my turn to go back to camp. Alpha was the first group who went home first and Delta (My group) was the last. I was one of the last groups to return. I reached camp at about 3 a.m. Even though I was dirty, wet and smelly, I didn’t even bother to bath, as I was extremely exhausted. The next day, the teachers allowed us to sleep a little longer because of yesterday’s catastrophe. A few days after that, something really freaky happened in camp. An Indian-Muslim girl in my dorm was beginning to act peculiarly. The girl is really noisy and active but suddenly she was so quiet. Then she kept telling her friends that she wants to go home. When they asked her where’s her home, she would say Jeram Hilir. That means that she belongs to the jungle. Soon, we found out that a ghost entered her body. Everyone in my dorm or should I say all the girls in camp were so terrified. We slept together with our friends every night. Later, the teachers had to seek help from the ‘bomoh’ (Witch doctor) in order to chase the ghost away. According to my teacher, the ghost is a Siamese and she entered my friend’s body because she was angry with my friend for changing under her tree without her permission. After a few days, the girl showed signs of recovery. That was one of the scariest experiences ever in my life. I’ve heard of ghost stories but never in my life it happened to someone whom I know. It was so freaky. The next time we entered the jungle was in February, 2 days before we went back for Chinese New Year holidays. This time everything went smoothly as planned. We reached the jungle (Another one) in the afternoon and started settling down. However this time wasn’t too fun as we had to camp according to our own flights (Alpha, Bravo, Charlie and Delta) and that means I cannot stay with my best friends. Each flight is given a site to camp on. Even though my camp and my friend’s camp are between walking distance, we are not allowed to go visit other flights. This is because we were actually in a game. The game requires us to stay in our base (our own campsite) and look after our own belongings. Other flights might send attackers to attack our flight by stealing our stuffs. That’s why we have to stay focus to look after our belongings in case our enemies attack us. We were actually not allowed to sleep because we need to guard our stuff but then at 2 a.m. all of us dosed off. We were too tired. Besides, no one would have the energy to attack us in the middle of the night. Even the teachers were sleeping. That night in the jungle was extremely boring, as we have nothing to do except wait, wait and wait for the time to leave. The only thing great that night was the stars. I've never seen so many stars in the sky before. I mean, it's like the whole sky is filled with stars and it was the best feeling ever just looking at the stars. The next morning, we packed and left for camp. When we reached camp, we rushed to pack our bags in preparation to go home for Chinese New Year.
With Lots of Love & Hugs & Kisses & Chris Richardson's scent from BabyT ;
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
As everyone expected, I felt extremely disappointed and was really pissed off when I found out that I am the lucky one chosen for National Service. I believe that nine out of ten Malaysians do not look forward to attending this special programme called National Service, specially introduced last year by the government for some of those after Form 5 students. I felt really unsatisfied and was so heartbroken when my friends told me that, I, out of so many other fellow Malaysians out there was selected to attend this ‘unnecessary’ National Service. What’s worse is that none of my best friends were chosen except me. All of them were so glad and so relieved except me who was so devastated over the fact that I will have to go to ‘jail’ in like a few months time, and just a few days after SPM. All my holiday plans, GONE!! So I began to actually think of ways to escape what I thought was going to be like prison. I thought of going to the doctor and ask for medical leave or something (well, I do have really sensitive skin and nose problem) but I guess I finally realize that I cannot escape reality, which is the fact that I have to go no matter what. I know myself too well, I’m definitely going to be homesick and I’m definitely going to cry badly in camp. I’m a person who can’t survive even for a few days away from home. But then I keep reminding myself of the positive aspect of National Service. I do believe that God has given me an opportunity to learn how to live independently on my own, away from the comfort of home and away from my dearest mum. My mum is definitely the person I miss most during the whole programme and of course my dad and my two siblings. (Even though sometimes it’s good to not have them around to get on my nerves) News about me going for National Service spread really fast and in a matter of seconds, all my aunts and uncles knew that I, the girl my mum pampered most at home is going for NS. Everyone kept telling me that this is a really good chance for me to experience what it is like to live independently because everyone kind of knows how spoilt I am at home. I was really lazy and I always depend on my mum to do things for me. (Sometimes even washing my own cup) I am a really untidy person and I love messiness. (I still do now) So I guess God has create this as some sort of a punishment for me, but I’m glad that He arranged this for me.
Anyway, after I received the news about myself going for NS, I still have to sit for my SPM first. I still have a few months before going for NS. So I didn’t think about NS for 3 months and concentrated on my SPM, an exam Form 5 students had to sit for before leaving secondary school. (Which I don’t really want to talk about) On the day before my physics paper, I called the hotline to find out the location of my camp. I was really eager to find out where my home for 3 months will be and I was so hoping that it will be some where near Ipoh, my hometown. And again I received bad news. I was placed in Kelantan out of so many places. I mean, why Kelantan, it’s like 8 hours drive from Ipoh and so far from home. I have 12 friends in my class who were also selected for NS and out of the 12; all of them were placed in Perak except some who were in the second batch. Why am I the odd one again? I am the only one going to Kelantan. Once again my family consoled me by saying that it’s better to be placed somewhere further rather than stuck in Perak. When I come to think of it, it’s true. I mean, right now, I’m so glad to be in Kelantan because I actually got a chance to see what ‘kampung’ life is. Besides I never had a chance to visit East Malaysia until now, all because of National Service, so I guess it’s another favour that God has given me.
Time flies really fast. In the blink of the eye, SPM was over and it was time for me to go for NS training. And to tell the truth, my mum was the one who packed almost everything for me again. Well, I was a bit busy with SPM. (lame excuses) Anyway, my trip to camp was delayed for one week because of the floods in Kelantan. At that time I was really happy that I escaped one week training but pity my friends who had to go earlier. So I managed to get some inside stories about camp from one of my friend who went earlier. She told me what to bring and gave me an idea of how the whole NS thing is. I was really shocked when she told me one day that even the girls have to cut their hair. My long hair is like my priced possession, they can’t do that to me. (I look really ugly in short hair) I kept praying that all this is not true and fortunately the next day my friend told me that her teacher pulled her leg. Thank God!
Finally on the 19th of December, I had to leave for Kelantan. I was placed in Kisana Beach Resort, Pasir Puteh, Kelantan. I was kind of excited that day. I was really anxious to see how my camp looks like. I kept telling myself that Ns would be fun even though I wasn’t too sure myself. Well, it looked fun from the advertisement that kept showing itself on television. (The one with the really nice song in it….’Kami anak-anak Malaysia…’) I remember I used to really hate that ad because it always reminds me of NS. That day, my aunts, uncles, grandpa, my sister, my brother, cousins and my mum were there to send me off. The bus left at 10 o’clock and reached Kelantan at almost 6 o’clock. I sat with this guy, Mun Fook on the bus. He was the first person I met. As soon as we reached camp, we separated because he has to go to the WIRA (that is what boys are known as) side while I’m on the WIRAWATI side. So I had to make some new friends. I then had all my luggage checked up by the teachers in charge and then was given a bed in Dorm A. I was the first girl who completed the whole registration process. So I went to the beach, which is so beautiful. I love the beach; it’s now my favourite place in camp. The sea is breathtaking. There I started crying because I’m beginning to miss home and I was not allowed to keep my hand phone so I can’t call home. Fortunately they have public phones. But at that moment I didn’t know where the public phones were and I was not in the mood to call because I was too sad. So after crying secretly for a while I went back to dorm and met Si Mei, my first friend in camp. She is also from Ipoh. So for a few days, she was my companion. The trainees from KL and Selangor reached later that night but I really didn’t bother to talk to any one of them that day. Well I was so homesick. Somehow I knew that I had to mix around in order to get used to the new environment so I tried to talk to them on the second day. I didn’t really want anyone to dislike me. I really want to meet some new friends. Besides I promised myself that I want to enjoy myself and make my friends back home jealous that I got chosen for NS and they’re not. From Selangor, I met Huey Ning, Ah Chin, Mei Cheeng, Chew Mei and See Mun; from Taiping, I met Yin Yin. We didn’t click well at first but later we bonded. Now we are closer than close. We share our problems and shared our good and bad times together. I think the best part of this whole programme is meeting new friends with so many different backgrounds. I learnt so much from every single one of them because each one of them have different stories to tell about their past. I learnt that compared to some of my friends, I’m considered really lucky to have such a happy family and such a blissful life. I really shouldn’t be complaining too much.
Anyway, the first two days was filled with extreme boredom. We have nothing to do at all. No activities and no fun. All we did was wait, wait and wait. Finally, on the third day, some activities started. We were first divided into four flights – Alpha (A), Bravo (B), Charlie(C) and Delta (D). I was placed in Delta. In Delta, we were once again divided into 3 groups – D1, D2, D3. I’m in D1, Si Mei in D2 and Yin Yin in D3. Huey Ning was in A4 with Chew Mei and a few other girls from KL and I don’t think I will mention everyone of them. In my new group, I didn’t know anyone at all. But now, I love my group so much even though I don’t really like some of them. We then move to our first assignment – create a group name, come up with a motto and design a flag (which we have to take really good care of). After what seems like hours, we finally named our group BATIK. BATIK is a mixture of different colours and we hope that we, Malaysians will mix together even though we have different skin colours. (I hope I’m correct with the explanation, I don’t really know the real meaning behind the group name actually) The BATIK group consists of 12 WIRA and 12 WIRAWATI. I don’t think I will name all of them, it is not that important anyway. Our group leader was Mohd. Hafiz.(One of the members which i totally hate) In fact he’s the leader of the whole Delta flight. (Unfortunately, a lot of people were not so satisfied with him. (He is too bad tempered) But I made good friends with a few of them – Wai Han, Atikah, Azie and Akma. All of them are really nice and they treat me really well. I found a lot of big sisters in camp actually. All of them treat me like their little sister, maybe because of my small size (I’m extremely short). I like them to treat me like their little sister because I don’t have big sisters. Now I have a chance to feel what it’s like to have big sisters. The WIRAs are also really funny. I kind of change my perception on Malay guys after meeting the boys in my group. I feel that they too have some leadership qualities in them. Before this, I always thought that Malay boys are really lazy and all they do is ‘lepak’. The boys in my group are all really intelligent and are all different and special in their own ways. When they are together, they can always come out with really funny jokes.
The next morning, we started our first module – ‘Kenegaraan’. We met our teacher, Cikgu Norhayati. She’s really sweet and really pretty. For ‘Kenegaraan’ we had learnt about “DAULAT, KERAJAAN, RAKYAT and TANAH” (DKRT). We also learned to work in groups. (Latihan dalam kumpulan -LDK) Each morning, from 9.00 a.m. to 12.30 p.m. (we have breaks in between) we will attend ‘kenegaraan’ lessons. We do different activities each day. Some I really enjoy while some I don’t. One of the activities that I really enjoyed was the one where we had to search for rubbish and create something out of it that represents our country. For this activity, BATIK was divided into small groups consisting of 6 people each. Our teacher then let us out to the seaside for a few minutes and we were to collect as many rubbish as we can. It really disappoints me to see that there are so many different types of rubbish out there – sweet wrappers, strings, aluminium cans, bottles, etc. I realize how dirty the beach is but on the positive side, we have more stuff for our project. (Come to think of it, this whole activity is actually a scheme to get us help clean up the beach) So, after collecting enough rubbish, or should I say project materials, we gathered in our groups and tried to come up with something. My group collected a few pieces of polystyrene (which were very useful), sticks, water bottles, lovely seashells and two of my friends even managed do some ‘crabbing’, meaning catch some small crabs. After like about an hour or less (we have really limited time) all the four small groups completed their task. Most of them made the Twin Towers, the KL tower or just some buildings that we can totally relate to Malaysia. But I, who misunderstood what the teacher had said, suggested to my group that we make a fish. (How stupid. What does a fish have to do with Malaysia?) So we, instead of all those magnificent buildings, made a fish. (Hey, it’s a really beautiful one, ok!) But my friend who presented did a really good job. He managed to somehow relate the fish to Malaysia, I don’t know how. So in other words, we were not completely wrong. When I told my dad about the activity, he told me that fish do represent our country in some ways. If we really put our minds into it, fishes do contribute to our country. Fish are a source of food and protein. Fish also provide jobs for our fellow fishermen out there. Without fishermen who catch, there won’t be factories that produce products using fish, and without factories, there won’t be development in our country. (In this sector) To summarize, I would say that fish represents the development of the country as well, even though not as apparent as other sectors.
Other fun activities include the one where we have to design our own country and the one where we designed robots. For the country designing activity, we work in groups of six again and we were supposed to draw a country in any shape or size on a piece of manila cardboard. Then we equipped it with whatever we want, for example, forts for defence, museums, towers, shopping complexes and beaches for tourism, and whatever we can think of. Later we have to present it to the others. My team designed a papaya shaped country (I have no idea why) and we simply named it D since none of us were diligent enough to think of a suitable name. Besides, to us the most important thing is that we did an excellent job with the country we designed. The robot designing activity was really fun for me as I’ve done it before in school and I knew exactly what I wanted in a robot. For this activity, we had to find a partner. We were given a piece of paper with a blank robot. Our job was to add special features to that robot in order to make it our ideal robot. Azie and I were partners and we had a great time designing our robot. Our robot can either be male or female; well it’s its owner’s choice (Not that it matters anyway-they can’t get married or something). Then you can scan anyone’s picture and programme it into your robot so that it has the looks of that particular person. It can be just anyone; may it be Britney Spears, Tom Cruise or even yourself. Then it has an ATM machine (money comes out from its mouth), a monitor that acts as the computer monitor and television, and a cd/vcd player all equipped in its body. But then it has no feelings so that it won’t rebel or anything. OH and it has an alarm system programmed in it so it can help detect any strangers that try to intrude your house. Besides that, one of its eyes works as a digital camera, so you can take photos using it. You can fold it so it’s absolutely portable.
Another fun activity during ‘Kenegaraan’ was the one were we need to blindfold ourselves. One person was selected as the leader, in my group’s case; Hafiz was once again the leader. Then six were chosen as distracters and the others were left blindfolded. I was really unlucky to be one of the blindfolded. The game goes like this: the leader must lead the ‘blind’ to a certain destination. Well, it’s a really big bunch of blind followers and he must do his best to ensure that all of his followers safely reach the specified area. The distracters on the other hand will create problems and troubles to fail the leader. They can do whatever they want to interrupt – give fake instructions, throw sand at us, pull our hair and what ever they can think of as long as it is not dangerous. I was the first girl in line and I was behind a boy. I held on to a cloth the boy was holding in order to follow the right track. We had to hold on to each other’s hand so that we wouldn’t get lost. Hafiz stood at the very front leading all of us – 7 boys and 7 girls. Before the game started, Hafiz reminded us only to listen to his orders and not other people’s. But when the game started, I find it really hard to hear his voice as 7 guys were between him and me. That’s why I didn’t exactly followed his instructions. Then there was this stupid distracter who keeps attacking me resulting me to bump on to my other friend’s head (Both of us suffered minor injuries, just kidding but it sure hurt) In the end we managed to complete our task, we successfully reached our destination even though everyone (well the blindfolded ones) was really pissed off at the end of the game after being bullied by the distracters. When asked about our feelings, I told the teacher that I was extremely mad at what the distracters had done to us and that I was unable to hear orders from the leader. That’s why I almost got lost. The motive of this game is to show us what will happen if the followers do not obey a leader. It’s like in Malaysia, if no one listens or supports the Prime Minister, our leader, our country will never be able to achieve our vision. The distracters are like other countries who look down on us. They are also the ones who try to lead our citizens into a wrong direction and they create lots of problems. The conclusion of this whole game is that we have to work with our leaders and not listen to distracters in order to achieve success. I think that this game is really fun (Even though I hate the distracters) and it actually succeeded in making me realized that it’s true that we need to follow and support the government so that our country continues to bloom.
There were many other activities during ‘Kenegaraan’. Some of them were really not so interesting and I hardly remember them. Overall, even though there were good and boring times, I had a wonderful time getting to know my group members while working together in a group. During the last day of the ‘Kenegaraan’ module, the camp organised a barbecue to celebrate the teachers. Every group (A1 to D3) had to come up with a performance for the teachers. Our group BATIK (D1) sang a song specially for our teacher, Cikgu Norhayati and all the other teachers. That night, some were busy barbecuing for the rest of the group members (so nice of them), while others were busy chatting all night away. I was one of the lazy ones who did nothing but chat and eat at the same time. Well, I did help by contributing my appetite. (Imagine how would the people who put in all their efforts in making us food feel when nobody eats their food) When the party was over, it was time to bid farewell to Cikgu Norhayati for there wouldn’t be anymore ‘Kenegaraan’ classes after that. We had done about 3 weeks of ‘Kenegaraan’ and on the last day, everyone was feeling bitter. Everyone in D1 cried, even the boys. I think I’m the only one who didn’t. It was really embarrassing. The truth is, I am sad. But two weeks is not enough to make me cry for someone. Besides, during the first week of ‘Kenegaraan’, I didn’t click at all with the group yet because I was still extremely homesick. I still despise the government for putting me through this programme. It’s only after a few days that I started to adapt to the whole programme and start liking the activities. I really liked my teacher for she’s really sweet and nice to me. But on that day, I find it really tough to cry at all. I can’t pretend to cry. I don’t do such things. So, I just stood there, consoled my friends and looked extremely stupid next to them. At least I hugged my teacher and thanked her for everything. I truly meant it. THANK YOU once again Cikgu Norhayati! When I went back to dorm, I kept telling my friends about how useless I was for not crying. I mean, everyone in my group were except me. But then they told me that it wasn’t the tears that matter, it was the heart. Besides none of my best friends cried, so I felt better. At least I’m not the odd one out. If I was not mistaken, ‘kenegaraan’ classes end on the 19th January, just before our trip home for Hari Raya Haji holidays.
With Lots of Love & Hugs & Kisses & Chris Richardson's scent from BabyT ;
